Not to be copied without the author�s permission.
TABOOS
(When Harriet Met Sally)
(A play in 2 acts)
By Carl Djerassi
Dedicated to the memory of Diane
Middlebrook.
Program Note
That a scientist, turned
late in life into a playwright, should dip into his past professional life for
inspiration should hardly be surprising. And since human reproduction—or
more precisely, the control over reproduction—has concerned me for
decades as a scientist, it was inevitable that I should use this most personal
of personal human experiences as grist for this playwright�s mill. My first
theatrical venture, An Immaculate
Misconception, illustrated in the form of a �science-in-theatre� play some
of the ethical dimensions of the use of one of the most exciting assisted
reproductive techniques, ICSI (the acronym for intracytoplasmic sperm
injection, meaning the direct injection of a single sperm into an egg under the
microscope). That this topic continues to strike a responsive chord on the
stage is reflected by the fact that the play has by now been translated into 11
languages since its 1998 premiere in Edinburgh.
Five plays later, in Taboos, I return to the same topic of
sexual conduct in an age of technical reproduction, which can also be described
as the impending separation of sex and reproduction—the former as usual
for love, lust, or curiosity, but the latter increasingly under the microscope
by, diplomatically couched, �alternative� means. But instead of focusing, as I
did in my first play, on the technical �yang� of this theme, I now turn in my
sixth play to the social �yin� with its much more subtle and complex
components. As Chinese cosmology proclaims, only a combination of yin and yang
produces all that comes to be, in other words the next generation of persons
and of ideas.
Terms such as �marriage,�
�family,� and �parent� used to have firm denotations. They were the rock on
which our cultural values rested. Terms such as �embryo,� �baby,� or �twin�
were also considered unambiguous. Assumptions that marriage must be
heterosexual and that a child cannot have two parents of the same sex were
never even considered assumptions, because they were beyond questioning.
All of these terms have
become destabilized, their meanings blurred, their ranges extended. Some would
blame in vitro fertilization
technology during the past three decades for these developments, but in actual
fact major social and cultural changes—primarily in the United States and
Europe—were even more responsible for the monumental shift that has
caused so much fear and antagonism, especially among the ever increasingly
strident fundamentalists in the United States. So why not write a play about a
situation where �family� and �parent� have assumed disturbingly fuzzy meanings?
This is why I have situated Taboos in
two of the socially and politically most polarized parts of the United States:
the San Francisco Bay Area and the American Deep South.
But even though I have spent
half my life in or around San Francisco, I do not wish to be considered a
proselytizer for one view. Taboos was
written in Europe—mostly in London, but early parts also in Ireland and
Germany—by an agent provocateur
born in Europe who has rediscovered his European roots and with them a more
distanced as well as more nuanced view of America. Unquestionably, agent provocateur is the role that suits
me best as a late-blooming playwright, because most of the issues interesting
me are intrinsically provocative as well as complex. Indeed, by definition,
they are unsuited to black and white answers in spite of the public�s and the
media�s desires. Few topics are as provocative and complex as the present
questioning of the social meaning of parenthood and family, where every horror
projection can be countered with a �But what if?� scenario. That is why in Taboos I have mostly taken the yin side
of the argument.
Carl
Djerassi
London,
January 2006
Cast
SALLY (SYDNEY) PARKER, 33
years old, anchor woman for a San Francisco television station, later the
mother of Tucker.
CAMERON PARKER, 35 years
old, brother of Sally, conservative, church-attending certified public
accountant in Mississippi. He speaks with a pronounced Southern accent.
PRISCILLA PARKER, Cameron�s
wife, early thirties, highly conservative and religious housewife, later the
mother of Ashley. She also speaks with a pronounced Southern accent.
DR. HARRIET CAROTHERS, 37
years old, urologist in San Francisco, later the mother of Jan.
MAX CAROTHERS, 32 years old,
brother of Harriet, lawyer in the Public Defender�s Office, San Francisco.
Time
The present, mostly in San
Francisco, occasionally in a small town in Mississippi.
Scene 1: SALLY in pant suit walks toward park bench,
looks at watch, then sits down near one end, leaving plenty of space next to
her. Takes red rose from her bag, removes protective plastic covering, which
she folds carefully and puts back into bag. Starts trying different locations
for the rose: first in button hole, then in hair, then behind ear, but then
decides to fix her hair with both hands and momentarily grasps stem in her
mouth. At that moment MAX appears.
MAX How
can you talk with a rose in your mouth?
SALLY (Flustered, quickly takes rose into her hand). I was just fooling around.
MAX (Points to bench). Mind if I sit down?
SALLY I�m
afraid I�m expecting someone.
MAX That�s
okay. I�ll get up the moment he appears.
SALLY I�d
rather—
MAX (Interrupts her while sitting down) You
look familiar.
SALLY I
probably just have a common face.
MAX No,
you don�t. Have we met before?
SALLY (Firmly) No� definitely not.
MAX What
makes you so sure?
SALLY I
would�ve remembered.
MAX Maybe�
but I have seen you before.
SALLY Must
have been somebody else. (Holds rose stem
between her knees while moving back jacket sleeve to look at her watch).
MAX I hope
your date is not standing you up.
SALLY (Starting to get annoyed) Let me worry
about that.
(His cell phone starts ringing. Quickly looks
at number, then answers it)
MAX Hi. (Pause). The answer is yes. (Pause). Mm hmm� red. (Pause). See you. (Hangs up and then turns to Sally). Sorry about that.
SALLY (More nervous and irritated) Do you think
you could use one of the other benches?
MAX I
guess you�re in no mood for company.
(Starts to rise at which point HARRIET
approaches)
(Addressing Harriet). That was quick. (Gives her a peck on her cheek while pointing to place on bench he just
vacated). Give me a ring when you
get home.
HARRIET (While sitting down, still addressing Max).
Will do.
(Max exits. SALLY is flustered, not knowing
whether she is the expected date. HARRIET points at Sally�s rose, which is
still clasped between her knees.)
Nice rose.
(Sally, flustered, slightly separates knees
whereupon rose falls to the ground. Harriet quickly picks it up, smells it and
then hands it back to Sally)
(Disapproving). All appearance, but no real substance. This one is
odorless.
SALLY (Defensive): I didn�t buy it� it was
given to me.
HARRIET So
why bring it to the park?
SALLY (Shrugs shoulders) The color goes with my
jacket.
(Harriet studies her, a slight smile on her
face, which disconcerts Sally)
I hope you don�t mind (points to bench)� I�m expecting someone
(again looks at her watch)
HARRIET
Why, of course. Sorry. (Gets up and
leaves)
(Sally again fidgets with rose, finally decides to
hold it in both hands, folded demurely in her lap. Long pause� whereupon
HARRIET suddenly returns, this time a yellow rose in her hand).
(Cheerfully) Hi! I�m Harriet.
SALLY (Somewhat annoyed) You fooled me!
HARRIET I
hope you�ll forgive me. (She offers her
the yellow rose). Here� smell it� nice scent.
SALLY (Smells it quickly and returns it) How
come yours smells?
HARRIET
Because I threw away the one Esther gave me and bought a new one!
SALLY (Relieved laughter) I follow the rules
and you break them! Promising beginning! By the way� my name is Sally Parker.
HARRIET I
know.
SALLY You
mean, Esther told you about me?
HARRIET Of
course. I don�t go on blind dates� at least not anymore.
SALLY She
told me nothing about you. Absolutely nothing! Just �trust me.�
HARRIET
You�re that trusting?
SALLY On
the contrary! I�m very much the wary type. But there was something about
Esther: motherly� and yet tough and all-knowing.
HARRIET
True. Otherwise, I�d have thrown her out of my office.
SALLY Office?
What kind of office? In fact, what do you do?
HARRIET
What would you like me to be doing? According to Esther, you gave her a list of
desiderata.
SALLY (Laughs) I didn�t come with a list. She
drew one out of me, insisting that all professional matchmakers do that. And
�desiderata� was her word� I�ve never used it before.
HARRIET
Still� what sort of office would you �desire� I had?
SALLY A
place that isn�t just a job.
HARRIET
Any preferences?
SALLY No.
I just want to know what you get out of your work. Does it excite you?
HARRIET
Yes.
SALLY So
what do you do?
HARRIET
Later. What about your job? How does it feel knowing you�re being ogled by
thousands of people every morning and evening? Having to look perfect each
time?
SALLY
Presentable! Not perfect.
HARRIET
Not a hair out of place� impeccable make up? I�d call that more than
presentable.
SALLY You
get accustomed to it� especially when somebody else does it for you.
HARRIET So
you love it?
SALLY
Actually, it�s the pits. I get up at 4:00AM five days a week.
HARRIET No
wonder you went to a matchmaker. Who�d want to live with someone with such
weird hours?
SALLY I�m
quitting.
HARRIET (Surprised). Oh? (Suddenly reaches over and tousles Sally�s hair).
SALLY (Taken aback, tries quickly with her hands to
smooth her hair but Harriet stops her) Now why did you do that?
HARRIET I
just wanted to see you with bed-head.
SALLY And?
HARRIET
You don�t just look presentable� you look like the real article� especially
with your hair disheveled.
SALLY Thanks.
(Somewhat timidly, tousles Harriet�s hair
for a moment). So do you.
Sudden
awkward pause while they both play with their roses.
HARRIET (Offers her rose to Sally) Here� keep it.
A gift.
SALLY
Thanks. (Looks at her red rose and
suddenly tosses it away). I can�t give that to you. As you said: all
appearance� no substance. (Beat). By
the way, who was that man who greeted you?
HARRIET My
brother.
SALLY You
sent him to spy?
HARRIET
Just to check you out. I wouldn�t have come if he hadn�t given me the okay over
the phone.
SALLY But
what could he�ve found out in a minute or two? Especially since you seem to
have watched me on TV.
HARRIET TV
is always sanitized. No hair out of place� no four letter words. For instance,
off camera� do you ever say �fuck?�
SALLY (Grinning) Shit yes.
HARRIET (Laughs) That�s a relief. (Beat).
What about jeans?
SALLY (Puzzled) You want to know about my
parents?
HARRIET
Not those genes. Do you wear jeans?
SALLY
Sure� I wear them.
HARRIET
Too bad. I hate jeans.
SALLY
Always?
HARRIET
Always.
SALLY But
why? Every one wears jeans.
HARRIET
Exactly the reason I can�t stand them.
SALLY Did
you tell that to Esther?
HARRIET
No� she didn�t ask about my desiderata. It�s you, who�s paying her fee.
SALLY I
see. (Pause). Okay� I�ll give the
jeans to �Good Will.�
HARRIET (Nonplussed) You�ll do what?
SALLY Get
rid of the jeans.
HARRIET
Because of what I just said?
SALLY (Nods) Mm-hmm.
HARRIET
But that�s not enough of a reason!
SALLY You
seemed to feel so strongly about jeans.
HARRIET
But still—
SALLY
You�d be annoyed every time you saw me in jeans.
HARRIET
True� but how do you know we�ll even meet again?
SALLY Do you
think we�ll meet again?
HARRIET (Studies her closely, wagging her head)
Probably. (Suddenly tousles again Sally�s
hair). Yes� definitely yes!
SALLY You
see.
HARRIET
See what?
SALLY The
jeans are my gift to you. (Raises yellow
rose she held in her hand). I�d like to see you again. And getting rid of a
couple of jeans is no big deal.
HARRIET
You only have a couple?
SALLY Yes.
HARRIET
That�s not so bad. I thought you�d have a closet full of them.
SALLY No
compromises! If you don�t like jeans, even one would spoil it. (Grins). No fucking jeans.
HARRIET
What about pajamas?
SALLY What
about them?
HARRIET
You wear them?
SALLY You
mean in bed?
HARRIET
Yes.
SALLY
Never.
HARRIET
Even when you�re alone?
SALLY I
said �never.�
HARRIET
Hmm.
SALLY And
you?
HARRIET
Always.
SALLY Now
it�s my turn for an important question.
HARRIET
Fair enough.
SALLY Are
you a pussy lover?
HARRIET (Taken aback) Isn�t it a bit premature to
ask such a question?
SALLY Not
for me it isn�t. (Suddenly realizes
Harriet�s interpretation). I�m allergic to cats.
HARRIET (Laughs) I see. No� no pussies.
SALLY
That�s a relief. (Beat). Back to your
brother. You never told me what he could find out in a couple of minutes about
a total stranger. Or did you give him all the dope you got from Esther?
HARRIET
Nothing. I wanted his first impression.
SALLY
Because?
HARRIET
Because he�s good at first impressions. I trust him.
SALLY I
envy you.
HARRIET
You�re an only child?
SALLY I�ve
got one brother� Cameron.
HARRIET
Unusual name.
SALLY
Yeah� so was mine: Sydney.
HARRIET
You changed it? Why?
SALLY I
was fed up getting letters addressed to Mr. Sydney Parker.
HARRIET
�Sydney and Cameron.� It would make interesting camouflage for gay couples.
Offhand, you wouldn�t know what sex you�re dealing with.
SALLY My
parents would go ballistic if someone ascribed such a motive to them.
At this point, Harriet�s cell phone rings which she
picks up. Checks the number and starts listening. Sally, somewhat irritated,
turns partly away from Harriet, takes water bottle out of her bag and takes a
few sips.
HARRIET (Into phone) You�ll be okay. Just drink plenty of
water. (Pause). At least a couple of
liters. (Pause) No� not all at once.
(Pause). In that case, make an
appointment. (Hangs up, turns to Sally).
Sorry about that.
SALLY You
always carry a cell phone with you?
HARRIET (Notices Sally�s expression). You don�t
approve?
SALLY I
hate them. Like you� with jeans.
HARRIET
But why? Everybody has a cell phone.
SALLY (Laughing). Like jeans. (Beat)
But it�s impolite� answering it while you talk to someone else. Besides, I
don�t want to be reachable 24 hours a day.
HARRIET Not
a bad reason. But what about your water bottle? You always carry one with you?
SALLY Most
of the time.
HARRIET:
Why?
SALLY
Keeps me hydrated. It�s supposed to be good for you.
HARRIET
Says who?
SALLY
Says�. everybody. Even you� just now on your phone.
HARRIET
That�s different. I was talking to a sick man. You look in great shape.
SALLY
What�s wrong with carrying a water bottle and taking sips from it?
HARRIET
How much did you pay for this bottle of water?
SALLY I
don�t know. Maybe a dollar fifty.
HARRIET If
you have to drink� why not tap water?
SALLY All
those chemicals?
HARRIET
You drink distilled water?
SALLY No.
HARRIET
You see? (Suddenly looks at the cell
phone still in her hand) Too bad I can�t throw it away right now and
impress you. But I need it� for my patients.
SALLY Say�
what kind of a doctor are you?
HARRIET
Urologist.
SALLY I
thought only shrinks always need to be reachable.
HARRIET My
patients are mostly men. To them, urologists are even more important than
psychiatrists.
SALLY
Still� may I ask you for a favor?
HARRIET
Sure�
SALLY The
next time we meet, could you leave your cell phone at home? So it�s just you
and me?
HARRIET I
can�t leave it at home. But I�ll turn it off� for you.
BRIEF BLACKOUT.
Scene 2. A
few weeks later in Harriet�s apartment.
MAX Well?
How�s it going?
HARRIET Promising. (Long
pause)
MAX Is
that all you�ve got to say to your nosy brother?
HARRIET
Sally would like to start a family.
MAX Wow! (Beat)
And what was your response?
HARRIET
Why not? (Pause)
MAX And
that�s all? My opinionated sister, who never lets her brother say anything
unchallenged, suddenly rolls over.
They both laugh.
HARRIET I
didn�t �roll over� but I understood what Sally meant. Her family broke off with
her� totally� once she announced that she was gay� so she wants a new family�
with all the accoutrements.
MAX You
mean kids?
HARRIET
Well� one at the outset.
MAX Is
that why you�re suddenly talking French? Accoutrements!
(Beat) And then you told her mais
oui? You�re talking about one of the truly monumental decisions in
life—
HARRIET
I�m just mulling it over�
MAX How
blas� can you get?
HARRIET (Attempting banter) So now you�re also switching to French?
MAX What
else does a mais oui deserve but a blas�?
HARRIET
Sally and I are hardly blas� about whether we could establish a family. That�s
why the two of us decided to take off for a week.
MAX To do
what?
HARRIET Go
backpacking. No phones, no people� just the two of us� plus some serious
aerobic stuff.
MAX
Anything else?
HARRIET I
did something I shouldn�t have done. I wonder whether I should tell her.
MAX You
can always try it out on me first.
HARRIET When
I went to her place, I looked through her medicine cabinet.
MAX Why
would you do that?
HARRIET Because
you learn a lot about people from what they keep there. What medication they�re
on� what kind of cosmetics they use� other stuff. How messy they are in a place
where they don�t expect to be checked.
MAX And
you found something that bothered you?
HARRIET Bother
is too strong a word. It was her
toothpaste.
MAX You
mean how she squeezed it?
HARRIET (Laughs). Not that serious. It was
labeled �organic.� But when I looked at the label, I found it was just fancy
bicarbonate of soda� mint flavored.
MAX I
don�t get it.
HARRIET I
didn�t either.
MAX I
mean� I don�t get why that should bother you.
HARRIET It
said �free of chemicals.� But what is bicarbonate�if not a chemical? Or the
mint flavor? Is it made from mint not exposed to pesticides? It sounds kooky.
The price was still on the tube� $5.99. Can you imagine, buying �organic�
sodium bicarbonate for $5.99?
MAX Why
get upset about that?
HARRIET It�s irresponsible� wasting so much
money on bicarbonate. Do you think I should ask her about it?
MAX If I
were you I�d keep my mouth shut. She might start having second thoughts. Or if
you have to, wait till she brushes her teeth by a brook while backpacking. Then
she won�t know you were snooping.
HARRIET If
the trip works out, we�ll share a medicine cabinet and I�ll be buying the tooth
paste. (Beat) End of snooping�
MAX Not
quite. Have you ever done this in my
place?
HARRIET You
know I hardly ever visit you in your
apartment.
MAX True�
but you have been there. So did you look?
HARRIET (Somewhat embarrassed) I did� once.
MAX And
what were you looking for?
HARRIET
Contraceptives.
MAX
Condoms? To see whether I followed your advice about buying ribbed ones?
HARRIET Female
contraceptives� or even some Tampax.
MAX You
better sit down and �fess up.
HARRIET (Attempts banter) Come on� it�s not a big
deal.
MAX Organic
tooth paste in your prospective lover�s medicine cabinet is a big deal, but
looking for the Pill in your brother�s is not? Listen� we hardly ever have any
secrets—
HARRIET (Interrupts) The operative word is
�hardly.�
MAX Meaning?
HARRIET What
about your girl friends? I�ve met some of them, but when we�re alone, you never
talk about them.
MAX That
has nothing to do with secrets� it�s all about discretion. Maybe it�s the
lawyer in me.
HARRIET Anyway, I wanted to know whether one of them
was actually living with you.
MAX So why
didn�t you ask?
HARRIET (Laughing) Discretion. Maybe it�s the
physician in me.
MAX (Studies her for some seconds) You�re
about to go backpacking for a week with your red rosed Sally. Not a bad way to
get to know a potential partner.
HARRIET
Agreed.
MAX But
you seem to have already made up your mind� other than the tooth paste
question. You�re even willing to consider having a child with her. But
shouldn�t you first want to find out what it�s like to live together?
HARRIET I
just got a gut feeling that she is it! (Beat).
You look dubious.
MAX Not
dubious� jealous. (Beat). I�ve never
had that gut feeling. Or am I just a born bachelor� a rare species these days?
HARRIET
Nonsense, You�re wonderful company� you�re gregarious� you have a tough sense
of humor—
MAX (Interrupts) Sure� sure. So why
haven�t I met the woman I wanna settle down with? Actually, what I�ve been
doing lately is looking into the mirror to find out what I really want in a
long-term relationship.
HARRIET
And what did you find?
MAX Here I
am, Max Carothers, with great parents and a super-sister, but I don�t know whether I�d make a good
father!
HARRIET A
man of 32 is still a kid. You�ve got years to figure this out. Think of us poor
women! Think how long it took your 37-year old sister to acquire that gut
feeling.
MAX As a
physician, you should know that there are more important organs than just the
gut for a long-lasting relationship.
HARRIET (Grinning) At least I don�t have to
include the testis.
MAX In
that case, how do you intend to become pregnant? (Beat) And which one of
you plans to be the mother?
HARRIET
Sally.
MAX And
the father?
HARRIET The father? That, of course, is a much more
complicated question. With us lesbians, the word father always has quotation
marks around it. (Beat). I want to
ask you something� but don�t get angry. Promise?
MAX Sure.
HARRIET
Anything?
MAX Well�
within limits.
HARRIET
Typical lawyer�s response. All I want you to do is to consider testing the
waters of fatherhood instead worrying about how and when to jump in.
MAX How
does one dip one toe into the sea of fatherhood? Doesn�t that usually mean
jumping in or staying dry?
HARRIET
Would you be willing to become Sally�s sperm donor? You�ve got great genes� and
I even share some of them with you.
MAX Je ne sais pas. Or as we
would say in the vernacular, �let me think about it.�
HARRIET
I�ll put it on the agenda for the back packing: Max as sperm donor and uncle,
but not a father. Deal?
MAX I�ll
think about it.
END OF SCENE 2
Scene 3. The dining room of Sally and Harriet�s
apartment in San Francisco a few months later. A rectangular dining room table
(preferably expandable to suit requirements of Scenes 8 and 12) is in the
center of the room. It has been set formally and festively, including champagne
(still empty) and wine (partly-filled) glasses. The centerpiece, a silver tray
with a large elongated object wrapped in gold foil, remains undisturbed. Except
for a fourth, untouched setting, it is clear that the meal is nearly over.
Harriet, festively dressed, is seated at the table with a glass of wine in one
hand and her cell phone in the other.
HARRIET (Into cell phone) You have to pee all the time? That was the idea. (Pause)
All right� reduce it to one liter. (Pause.
Then, as Sally, smartly dressed, enters from the bedroom:) I�ve got to hang
up. (She hangs up and turns to Sally.) Sorry
about that.
SALLY You
promised.
HARRIET I
know, I know. Look, I�m switching it off! Look.
(She
switches the phone off. They embrace and kiss. )
HARRIET Sexy
baby� (Beat) You ready?
SALLY I
guess so.
HARRIET Sure
you still want to go through with it?
SALLY Of
course. Why wouldn�t I? It�s�
HARRIET Exciting.
SALLY It�s
more than that.
HARRIET Have
a drink.
SALLY No.
HARRIET You
can have one drink.
SALLY I
don�t need a drink, I just�
HARRIET It�s
Cameron, isn�t it?
(Sally nods. Harriet strokes her hair.)
HARRIET You
want to wait a bit longer?
SALLY Oh
what�s the use? He obviously thinks I�m a lost cause.
HARRIET Maybe
his plane got delayed.
SALLY Then
why didn�t he call? I just thought we�d finally be able to�
HARRIET I�m
sorry, baby. We�re now your family. Me and Max. And you can include my parents.
(Sally manages a sad smile.)
HARRIET God,
you look great!
(Sally cheers up. They kiss. Max
enters and interrupts the kiss. He�s well dressed in slacks and pressed shirt
but no tie.)
MAX The pastry
chef wishes to know if you are ready for the dessert.
(Harriet and Sally
break off the kiss.)
Pecan pie. It�s my only Southern specialty.
HARRIET How
about waiting a couple more minutes?
MAX (With a tiny note of impatience) Well, why not?
(He grabs a glass of wine and flops into a seat.)
SALLY Damn
him!
MAX (As if raising a toast) Damn him! Damn Cameron!
(A
pause. Harriet and Max drink.)
SALLY You
know, this year he sent me a birthday card. My first birthday card in three years!
I took it as a sign.
HARRIET Not
everyone finds it easy to forgive and forget.
SALLY There�s
nothing to forgive. Besides, he doesn�t even know why I wanted him here.
MAX Okay,
look. He dropped you. I�m sorry. Why don�t we just pop the cork, toast each
other, and then get started?
SALLY You
two go ahead. No alcohol for me.
MAX Oh,
come on!
HARRIET
Max. Just go get the champagne. Let�s get on to the main event.
(Max exits. Harriet puts music on the stereo
and offers Sally a dance. Sally accepts and they dance like a courting couple.
At the very least they dance to the first two or three stanzas of Cole Porter�s
Let�s Do It, Let�s Fall in Love):
Birds
do it, bees do it;
Even
educated fleas do it —
Let's
do it, let's fall in love.
In Spain the best upper sets do it,Lithuanians and Letts do it —
Let's do it, let's fall in love.
The Dutch in old Amsterdam do it,Not to mention the Finns;Folks in Siam do it — think of Siamese twins.
(As Max returns from the kitchen with a champagne bottle,
there is a little rap at the door barely heard above the music. Max, still
holding the bottle, answers the door. Cameron stands in the doorway. He is
dressed in a conservative suit and tie. His first sight is of his sister and
Harriet locked in an embrace. Sally sees him, instinctively pulls away from
Harriet. Harriet sees him. At once she goes over to the stereo and stops the
music.)
(An awkward pause.)
MAX Ahem!
CAMERON The doorman let me in. I wanted it to be a
surprise.
(As Sally rushes at Cameron
and hugs him.)
SALLY Come in, come in!
CAMERON I�m sorry I�m so tardy. My plane was late.
SALLY It�s okay, never mind.
(Cameron steps into the room, Sally
leading him by the hand. Harriet and Max hang back.)
HARRIET You want to be alone?
SALLY No,
no. Cameron� this is Harriet.
CAMERON (Flustered) Pleased to meet you, Ma�am.
HARRIET
I�m glad you made it. I�ve always wanted to meet some member of Sally�s family.
(Harriet and Cameron shake hands, with
evident coolness.)
HARRIET
Too bad you missed the first two courses. We�d finally given up on you.
SALLY And this is Max.
MAX So
you�re the mysterious brother.
CAMERON Pleased
to meet you, Sir.
HARRIET
Pop the cork, Sir Max.
(Max takes the champagne to the table.)
SALLY Not
me. Later� maybe.
HARRIET (She offers a full glass to Cameron.)
You must join us in a toast to Sally and to this special occasion.
CAMERON (Embarrassed) Much obliged, Ma�am,
but—
HARRIET You
can call me Harriet.
CAMERON (Even more embarrassed) I can�t�
HARRIET Of
course you can.
CAMERON (Points to glass) I mean� I don�t
indulge.
(Max and Harriet exchange surprised glances.)
SALLY
Cam doesn�t drink.
MAX
Well, can I get you
something else? Orange juice? Sparkling water? Ginger ale?
CAMERON Any Coke?
MAX
I didn�t get Coke. (Grins at Sally) Too much phosphoric
acid. You know Sally, obsessed with everything organic�
HARRIET (Joins in) Hates mobile phones�
MAX Never
has a hair out of place�
SALLY
(Laughingly) Enough compliments! (Beat). Cam and I will
both have ginger ale. Color co-ordination!
(Max
hurries into the kitchen.)
SALLY
(She hugs Cameron again.) I�m so pleased you came!
CAMERON Me too. It�s been a long time. But Jeez� You talk so
different � I mean, I�ve seen one of your broadcasts on the Internet. Folks
back home would never guess you�re one of us. (Beat) What�s the special occasion?
HARRIET
Sally and I are�
SALLY
(Interrupting) First things first. You must be hungry.
CAMERON
That�s okay. I�ll join
you for dessert.
(Harriet
suppresses a giggle. Sally glares at her.)
SALLY
Well, sit down.
(Cameron
takes a seat.)
CAMERON
(Addressing Harriet) So Ma�am, what do you do? (Beat) I mean, Harriet.
HARRIET
I�m a urologist�
(Max
enters with two ginger ales.)
HARRIET
�and you�d be surprised
how many of my patients call me �Ma�am.�
MAX
Especially men with their
pants �round their ankles.
SALLY
Max, cut it out!
HARRIET (With glass raised to Cameron) Well. May
this be the first of many visits! (To
Sally and Max) Success at the first try!
MAX Success!
(All three turn to Cameron, waiting for his toast,
but he�s tongue-tied.)
CAMERON
Jeez� I don�t know what to say.
MAX
Anything that comes to your mind.
CAMERON I
have no idea what y�all are celebrating� but�
(He raises his glass to no one in particular.)
� whatever it is, may the
good Lord bless it� and you.
SALLY (She leans over and gives Cam a kiss on his
cheek.) Nice toast, Cam. Cheers!
(They all join in as they clink glasses all around,
being careful that every glass is being touched, and sip briefly from their
glasses, the conversation ceasing somewhat awkwardly.)
SALLY I don�t think I can stand waiting much longer.
HARRIET Well
then, let�s proceed. (She reaches into
her pocket to produce what appears to be a gold coin and tosses it to Max.) Catch!
(Max, unprepared for the toss, fails to catch
the object, which falls on the table or floor near Cameron, who picks it up.)
CAMERON (Surprised
at its lightness) Chocolate? (He
hands it to Max.)
MAX
Hardly. (He starts to move toward the bedroom door,
a little nervously.)
HARRIET (Barely able to suppress her amusement)
Sally, think of something suitable to say while we wait.
CAMERON Wait
for what?
HARRIET Please
put the poor man out of his misery.
SALLY Why
don�t you go check about the dessert?
HARRIET Yes,
darling.
(Harriet, with a droll smile, goes into the kitchen.
Cameron watches her go. There is a momentary pause.)
CAMERON Was that a condom?
SALLY Of a sort.
CAMERON What does that mean?
SALLY Never mind. (Beat)
You don�t like Harriet, do you?
(Cameron shrugs.)
SALLY You
disapprove of us.
CAMERON You
know I do.
SALLY Why?
CAMERON You know why. It�s unnatural.
SALLY You sound exactly like Mom and Dad. With them, any
word starting with �homo� is an abomination. With the possible exception of
�homo sapiens� and that only if you make it plain it has nothing to do with
evolution.
CAMERON They only did what their conscience made them do.
SALLY Like not inviting me to their son�s wedding?
CAMERON You know that wasn�t my fault. Mom said she wouldn�t
come if you�
SALLY And of course we never disobey our parents, do we?
CAMERON Come on, Sid, I�m trying.
SALLY Don�t call me Sid. Those days are gone.
CAMERON Okay� Sally. (Beat)
Hey, you remember the time we went to the costume party at the McNulty�s house?
SALLY It was a blast!
CAMERON And you went dressed as Fidel Castro�
SALLY False beard and exploding cigar.
CAMERON It was funny�
but also weird.
SALLY I was grounded for a week for that stunt.
CAMERON You were always interested in stuff like that. Being
different.
SALLY
Different? Maybe back
home. But this is San Francisco, Cam, not Mississippi! (Beat) Gays have rights here.
CAMERON
Maybe here.
SALLY
Here? Listen� gay
partnerships or marriages are becoming legal in lots of places� not just
California or Massachusetts. Belgium, the Netherlands, Canada, South Africa�
even England. (Beat) Or take Catholic
Spain where they�ve legalized adoption by gay couples.
CAMERON
I bet the Pope doesn�t
approve.
SALLY
Oh, Cam! Just exactly
what�s wrong with two loving women adopting a child� or even better, giving
birth to one?
CAMERON Hold
on a minute. (Beat) Is that what you�re aiming to do?
( Sally remains silent.)
Sally! Is it?
Cameron stares at Sally)
Jeez. Is that what this
ceremony is all about?
SALLY Cam. Let me ask you something. What do you think
about artificial insemination?
CAMERON I don�t believe in artificial procreation.
SALLY Not even for a married couple?
CAMERON You�re not a married couple.
SALLY That wasn�t my question.
CAMERON Well� okay. I can see how, for a married couple,
there might be� circumstances that would excuse it, in God�s eyes. I guess.
SALLY So you�re not against it, in principle?
CAMERON I guess not� under special circumstances.
SALLY And you don�t think my relationship with Harriet is
just such a circumstance?
CAMERON You aren�t infertile, are you? If you want a baby,
settle down with a decent man and—
SALLY I don�t want a man. I never have and I never will. (Beat) Do you believe in love?
CAMERON You know I do.
SALLY I love Harriet. I want a baby. With Harriet. Not with
a man.
CAMERON Jeez, Sally! I don�t know� there are just� some
things� I don�t know how to say it� but in God�s eyes it can�t be
right.
(Harriet enters from the bedroom, followed
by Max. Harriet starts to unwrap the gold foil on the dining table, disclosing
a large syringe.)
CAMERON
(Surprised) A turkey baster?
HARRIET
We�ve got a
fully-equipped kitchen.
CAMERON
(To Harriet) Y�all trying to shock me?
HARRIET
No. But it wouldn�t be difficult.
Actually, this one is too small for a Thanksgiving turkey.
HARRIET
(To Max) I�ll take it. (She points to
handkerchief in his hand containing the condom.)
HARRIET
(To Sally) Ready?
SALLY
(To Cameron) I�ll be back in a jiffy. (To Max) Be nice to him� try some guys� talk.
(She
heads for the bedroom with the �turkey baster.�)
HARRIET
You two might as well get
to know each other while we�re busy. It won�t take long.
(As she leaves, with her back to the men
so they can�t see what she�s doing, she carefully opens the handkerchief and
removes the condom which she holds at the top.)
CAMERON (He points first to the center of the table
and then to the door through which Sally and Harriet had exited.) You mean
they�re going to use that thing?
MAX I
guess Sally didn�t tell you what the occasion was.
CAMERON.
No. In her first letter to me in years, she begged me to come. Said I�d bring her luck on the most
important day of her life. (Beat) I
thought she was getting married� or engaged� or something.
MAX That�s
exactly what it is� quite some� thing. Sally quit as our top local TV news
anchor for this! And that little chocolate you saw in my hand? Yes, that was a
condom. But a special one, without spermicide, which we wrapped ourselves.
Actually, we�ve got all kinds here in the Bay Area, we use them a lot. The
whole range: ribbed� flavored� pagoda-shaped� and every color under the
rainbow. By now they�ve filled the hypodermic with my seed and are probably all
finished. . It�s faster than intercourse, no foreplay�
CAMERON Thank
you! That�s enough information.
MAX
Just trying to help.
CAMERON
And I suppose you also
consider that� natural?
MAX As far
as fertilization is concerned? (He shrugs
his shoulders.) It�s just a question of delivery vehicle.
CAMERON That�s
all you see yourself as? A delivery vehicle?
MAX (Chuckling) Yeah. Like UPS. Or FedEx in my case. I�m known to be
fast if I concentrate�
CAMERON Listen,
bud. I realize y�all think I�m a Southern hick, but why don�t you just cut it
all out.
MAX My
apologies! No brother of Sally�s
could be a hick. I shouldn�t have made that crack.
CAMERON Well,
okay, then.
(An awkward pause)
CAMERON
So� er... Max. You married?
MAX (He shakes his head.) Not yet.
CAMERON How
old are you?
MAX Thirty-two.
CAMERON
Why postpone it?
MAX I�ve
still got a humongous student loan to pay off. First college... then law
school. I�m in the Public Defender�s Office. Indigent clients. So you can
imagine how long it will take me to pay off my loans. Besides, I haven�t yet
found the right woman. (Beat) So
you�re a CPA.
CAMERON
That�s right.
MAX A
number cruncher.
CAMERON I
like to keep people honest� especially with tax returns.
MAX (Genially) Must be good, steady
business.
CAMERON I
can�t complain.
MAX How long
have you been married?
CAMERON
Over four years.
MAX Any
kids?
CAMERON
Not yet, but trying.
MAX You
thought about in vitro?
CAMERON No.
MAX Why
not give it a try?
CAMERON I
put my trust in the Lord.
MAX Well,
it�s your decision.
CAMERON No,
sir! God will decide.
MAX Okay.
Good luck. You�ll need it.
CAMERON
Thank you.
(There is a long, awkward silence.)
MAX So
you�re from Europa, Mississippi.
CAMERON
Eupora� not Europa.
MAX An
anagram of Europa?
CAMERON You think we use anagrams to name our towns? (Beat)
Have you ever read any Syriac literature?
MAX (Straight-faced) I do every morning�
right after my Yoga.
CAMERON (Calling his bluff) You mind sharing
what you read today?
MAX You
got me. What is Syriac?
CAMERON Ancient
Aramaic� and still the liturgic
language of some Eastern Christian Churches.
MAX Don�t
tell me you read Syriac.
CAMERON I
researched it, because I wanted to know where the name of my hometown came
from. In Syriac, Eupora was the old name of Corinth. (Beat) Corinth in Greece� not our Corinth in Mississippi.
MAX Okay,
but why so many Greek names in the south? Athens, Georgia, Troy, Alabama�
CAMERON I
reckon its all about slavery. The Greeks condoned it and didn�t let their
slaves vote, and so did our forefathers. Also the reason for all the Greek
columns in our plantation homes.
MAX That
makes sense. So it�s Eupora.
CAMERON
Sally and me were raised there.
Nice town� but too small for a CPA. That�s why my wife and I moved to Jackson.
(Beat) So... how did you get to know
Sally?
MAX Through
Harriet.
CAMERON I
see. (Pause) And how long have you
known Harriet?
MAX All my
life.
CAMERON No
kidding?
(Cameron
puzzles over this for a moment. Then, walking right into it:)
MAX Yeah.
I�m her brother.
(Cameron is stunned.)
CAMERON I�ve had
it.
(He stands up.)
MAX You�re
leaving?
CAMERON You
bet I am.
MAX But
you just got here.
CAMERON Nevertheless,
I�ve gotta go.
MAX Stay for dessert at least. I spent over
an hour on it.
CAMERON (Turning on him) What you�re describing
is incest.
MAX
Incest? Listen! I�m Harriet�s brother�not Sally�s.
CAMERON
You�ve just had sex with your sister-in-law!
MAX I
think you�re confusing genetics with some hang-up of yours.
(Cameron goes to leave.)
At least try some dessert! Pecan pie� my only
Southern specialty. I did it for Sally�s sake.
(Cameron
hesitates by the door.)
MAX
You come all this way,
and now you�re going to leave, without saying goodbye to your sister?
(Cameron is sufficiently challenged by this to be
halted in his tracks. He listens.)
MAX Before
you know it, you�ll be an uncle.
CAMERON God
help me.
MAX I bet
they�ll make it on their first try. They�re the best organized couple you ever
saw. For the last three months, they�ve determined Sally�s optimum fertile time
practically to the hour. With a fancy fertility
monitor—computer-driven—and a drop of urine one can now pinpoint
the most fertile day of the month. Just a question of measuring the relevant hormone
levels.
CAMERON
Jeez!
MAX So you
see, they�re not just a couple of dykes acting out some dumb fantasy.
CAMERON I
don�t wanna hear any more!
MAX Do you
believe in the idea of the family? Of keeping things in the family?
CAMERON Yes,
I do.
MAX Well,
that�s what they�re doing in there. You think it�s better to have a completely
anonymous sperm donor, someone you never met, someone you know nothing about?
(Cameron is stumped for an answer.)
CAMERON I
don�t know what to think. My mind is doing somersaults here.
MAX Well,
that�s a start. Now keep it up.
(A pause)
(Harriet and Sally emerge from the bedroom.)
HARRIET Mission
accomplished!
END OF SCENE 3
Scene 4. Three weeks after Scene 3. Priscilla and Cameron�s living room in Jackson,
Mississippi. Priscilla enters,
wearing casual clothes for domestic work and perhaps rubber gloves. She�s
carrying a large old cardboard box. She puts it down on the floor and kneels
down to open it. She rummages around inside and finds something. It�s a little
girl�s doll—a Barbie doll or a rag doll, somewhat old and battered. She
studies it, fussing over it for a moment.
PRISCILLA O
Lord, give me a sign. Give me a sign, O Lord.
(She stops as she hears Cameron.)
CAMERON (Offstage) Honey?
(She puts the doll away and closes the lid of the
box.)
PRISCILLA In
here.
(She stands up and crosses to the table as
Cameron enters. He�s carrying two Bibles.)
CAMERON
What�s in the box?
PRISCILLA
(Ignoring that question) Ready?
(They sit down together, taking a Bible each. There
is a brief pause as she takes her gloves off.)
CAMERON
It�s your turn to read.
PRISCILLA Never
mind. I want to hear you do it
first.
(There�s just a hint of tension in her
remark, which he notices. He opens the Bible and starts browsing through,
looking for a lesson. She takes the book from him, finds a page, and indicates
for him to read.)
CAMERON �When
Isaac was forty years old, he married Rebekah, the daughter of Bethuel the
Aramean and the sister of Laban. Isaac pleaded with the Lord to give Rebekah a
child because she was childless. So the Lord answered Isaac's prayer, and his
wife became pregnant with twins.�
(Priscilla takes Cameron�s hand in hers and they
pray.)
PRISCILLA
Answer our prayers, O Lord.
CAMERON Lord,
answer our prayers. Make my wife Priscilla pregnant.
PRISCILLA I�m
begging you, O Lord, to give me a sign that I may become pregnant. Make me
pregnant, O Lord. Give me a baby, I�m begging you.
CAMERON And
yet Thy will be done. Amen.
(She stares at him as if he had just hushed her.)
PRISCILLA Okay.
And now it�s Forgiveness Time. You first. What would you like me to forgive?
CAMERON Well,
um... let me think.
PRISCILLA You
could start by explaining why you lied to me.
CAMERON I
didn�t, Prissy. I�ve never lied to
you.
PRISCILLA
Why didn�t you tell me you�d gone to see her? Flying all the way across the
country�
CAMERON
Because you would�ve argued with me.
PRISCILLA
No... I would�ve told you not to see that sinner. Your parents would�ve said
the same.
CAMERON
Don�t bring them into this.
PRISCILLA Why
not? You should have more respect for your Mom and Dad.
CAMERON I do. (Beat) All right. I ask your forgiveness for� for not telling you I went to San
Francisco.
PRISCILLA
Why did you go?
CAMERON
She asked me to.
PRISCILLA Did
you ask the Lord what you should do?
CAMERON I
always do� you know that.
PRISCILLA I
don�t believe you.
CAMERON Do
I get your forgiveness or not?
PRISCILLA
Not yet. I need to hear you say that woman is a sinner!
CAMERON
All right. She�s a sinner. But�
PRISCILLA
But what? No buts!
CAMERON �Lord,
make us ever mindful of the wants and needs of others.�
PRISCILLA
Are you praying for her wants and needs? If you mean what I think you mean,
that�s creepy. (Beat) Why did you go
see her?
CAMERON I
wish I�d done it earlier.
PRISCILLA
You mean she�s repenting?
CAMERON
It�s not for me to say.
PRISCILLA
She�s living in sin and will never enter the kingdom of heaven!
CAMERON
How do you know she�s living in sin?
PRISCILLA
She�s living with another woman!
CAMERON
Lots of people are living together� men with women, women with women, men with
men� without sinning.
PRISCILLA
Unmarried and not sinning?
CAMERON
They consider themselves �domestic partners.�
PRISCILLA:
What�s that supposed to mean?
CAMERON
The legal definition says: "Domestic Partners are two adults who have
chosen to share one another's lives in an intimate and committed relationship
of mutual caring." That�s a quote.
PRISCILLA
Where did you get that from?
CAMERON Max.
PRISCILLA Who�s Max?
CAMERON
Harriet�s brother. He�s a lawyer.
PRISCILLA
So you�ve become buddies? Max and you? And Sally and that woman aren�t sleeping
together?
CAMERON I
don�t know� I didn�t ask her.
PRISCILLA
You see?
CAMERON
See what? They live in a nice place.
PRISCILLA
Oh, really? Did you ask her what they do in their bedroom as part of a� (She assumes a nasty, sarcastic tone.)
�committed relationship of mutual caring?"
CAMERON
How can I ask that? What would you say if someone asked what we do in our
bedroom?
PRISCILLA
It�s none of their business. We�re married!
CAMERON
Married people do sinful things in bed.
PRISCILLA
Cameron!
CAMERON
Orthodox Jews are only permitted sex in the missionary position. You, Pris,
always want to be on top. Not just lie on top and move slowly. Sit on top� and bounce. (Beat) And then you complain that I come
too soon.
PRISCILLA
Cameron Parker! Hush! We aren�t Jews.
CAMERON
Okay, okay. What about when I asked you to try� (He stops.)
PRISCILLA
Try what?
CAMERON
You remember.
PRISCILLA
I remember nothing.
CAMERON.
Come on� you know. (Beat) Use me like
a lollypop.
PRISCILLA
That�s icky! And you aren�t exactly vanilla-flavored! Cameron! What�s come over
you? You�re different since you came back from San Francisco.
CAMERON I
haven�t changed. I�m just starting to see things differently. Sally� and
Harriet are nice women, who care for each other. I don�t know what else they�re
doing� but it isn�t Christian to deny your only sister.
PRISCILLA
Tell that to your parents. See how they like it.
CAMERON
Maybe I will.
(She glares at him.)
CAMERON But
not now. (Beat) Now it�s your turn.
PRISCILLA I
haven�t forgiven you yet.
CAMERON Aw,
Jeez, Prissy!
(He gets up to leave.)
PRISCILLA Where
are you going? Don�t you leave this table until we�re finished!
CAMERON If
you�re not going to forgive me, then Forgiveness Time is over!
PRISCILLA All
right. Forgiven. My turn now.
(He sits back down.)
CAMERON Go
ahead. I�m ready to forgive you.
PRISCILLA Thank
you. (Beat) While you were away... I
had...
CAMERON (A slight feeling of alarm) What?
PRISCILLA I
had... thoughts.
CAMERON (Relieved) Thoughts?
PRISCILLA Yes.
CAMERON Thoughts
about what?
PRISCILLA Adultery.
(Beat) I had thoughts about
committing adultery.
CAMERON (Astonished) My gosh! Anyone in particular?
PRISCILLA No,
of course not.
CAMERON So
you didn�t do anything about these thoughts?
PRISCILLA Cameron!
CAMERON I�m
just asking, so I can get the facts.
PRISCILLA The
facts are we don�t have a baby!
CAMERON Well...
I�m doing everything I can.
PRISCILLA I know, honey. (Beat) Please
forgive me.
CAMERON I
forgive you.
PRISCILLA I�m
much obliged. (She kisses his cheek.)
(The phone rings.)
CAMERON Oh,
let me get that, it�s probably Jimmy about golf on Saturday
(He goes to the phone. She goes over to the box and
takes out another doll. Unseen by him, she holds it close to her chest and
listens as he talks.)
CAMERON (Into phone) Hello... Oh, hi... hi, yeah, I�m� I�m fine... we�re
fine... yeah, she�s right here... No, that�s okay, we can talk...
(Now Priscilla realizes who is on the phone. She puts
the doll down, tense.)
CAMERON (Into phone) Um... yeah. Yeah, I can... Yeah... Why?... Oh! Oh,
Jeez... Oh, my gosh... That�s awesome. I see... congratulations. Okay. Well.
That�s� that�s� (He becomes aware of
Priscilla�s presence.) That�s... that would be no problem for me... No, no
problem. Leave it to me. When would that be?... I see... Okay. Well. We�ll talk
again before that... Okay, take care.
(He hangs up.)
PRISCILLA That was her.
CAMERON Yeah.
PRISCILLA
Are you going to see her again?
CAMERON Yeah.
PRISCILLA
Because I have forgiven you? That was for the last visit. You can�t forgive
ahead of time!
CAMERON Prissy� I�ve got to see her.
PRISCILLA
When?
CAMERON In
September.
PRISCILLA
Why then?
CAMERON
It�ll have been nine months.
PRISCILLA (Information is starting to sink in.) You mean she�s having a baby?
(A pause. Priscilla prays.)
PRISCILLA
Oh Lord! Here�s your faithful servant� wanting a child more than anything else�
and she ends up pregnant! (Beat) How?
CAMERON What
do mean �how�?
PRISCILLA Who�s
the father? An anonymous sperm donor?
CAMERON No.
It�s Max.
PRISCILLA Who�s
Max? (Now she remembers. Priscilla�s jaw
drops.) Oh, good grief! Max! Good� grief!
CAMERON Yes,
yes, I know. (Trying to calm her down)
Pris! Sally didn�t fornicate with him. That�s not how she got pregnant.
PRISCILLA How
do you know?
CAMERON
Because I was there when it happened.
PRISCILLA
I can�t believe what I�m hearing.
CAMERON It wasn�t natural—
PRISCILLA (Interrupts) Nothing they�re doing is
natural!
CAMERON I meant artificial insemination.
PRISCILLA
And you saw that? You� who�s refused to see a doctor about our
problem?
CAMERON (Contrite) I know. But why didn�t you
go to a doctor? How do I know it�s my fault? Anyway� if you�re
considering adultery� you must be blaming me. How do you know it�s my fault?
PRISCILLA
Because it must be.
CAMERON
Because I�m the sinner in the family? Because I want to do it from behind?
PRISCILLA
We aren�t dogs!
CAMERON
And that makes me a
sinner?
PRISCILLA I� I don�t know! I just want an answer! I
need an answer.
CAMERON
All right. I�m sorry. How
about I go see a doctor?
PRISCILLA (Beat) I thought you didn�t want to.
CAMERON
Maybe the Lord now wants me to go see a doctor.
PRISCILLA
Okay. When?
CAMERON As
soon as you do the same.
PRISCILLA I
don�t want to go.
CAMERON You
want a baby? Well?
PRISCILLA (Mollified) All right. I�ll go see a
doctor. (Now curious). So how did they
do it?
CAMERON I
don�t think you want to know.
END OF SCENE 4
Scene 5 . Sally and Harriet�s apartment,
eleven months later. Harriet is reading a medical journal. There is the sound
of a baby moaning a little. Harriet listens. Then it stops. She carries on
reading. Sally enters, wearing pyjamas and looking tired.
HARRIET Is
he asleep?
(Sally nods, then walks over to Harriet and
curls up beside her.)
HARRIET That
took forever.
SALLY I
think he�s getting a cold.
HARRIET Just
give him some baby aspirin and be done with it.
SALLY I am
not giving my child drugs unless he really needs them.
HARRIET And
so, another sleepless night in store.
SALLY I
don�t care. He�s my son.
(Harriet broods on this for a moment. There is a
pause.)
HARRIET Glass
of wine? A bite to eat?
SALLY I
think I�ll just go to bed.
HARRIET Massage?
(This perks Sally up a bit.)
SALLY Let
me do it to you� I don�t spend enough time babying you.
(Harriet lies on her stomach on the floor with Sally
straddling her. Sally begins massaging Harriet�s shoulders.)
HARRIET Hm�
hmm� a little to the left� that�s it� hmm�
SALLY
You�ve been working too hard.
(Sally continues massaging Harriet�s shoulder. She
sees one of Tucker�s toys on the floor; she smiles and chuckles softly.)
HARRIET What�s that chuckle for?
SALLY Oh, nothing� just� he�s so perfect. Like a sculpture.
HARRIET I know. I love holding your little boy.
(A
beat, then:)
SALLY What do you mean, �your little boy�?
HARRIET Nothing really� he�s just� he�s your little Tucker.
(Another
beat, then:)
SALLY What�s wrong with �Tucker�?
HARRIET
Nothing. It�s just a bit�
Southern.
SALLY So?
HARRIET
All I�m saying is, you
picked the name.
SALLY And
I asked you� and you said you didn�t mind.
HARRIET
You didn�t ask if I had any preferences.
SALLY Did
you?
HARRIET
What�s the difference? Once you proposed �Tucker,� the only option you left me
was my mother�s maiden name.
SALLY
�Beppuchinsky Parker?� (She laughs.)
Quite a mouthful.
HARRIET
You think �Tucker Parker� is euphonious?
SALLY Why
didn�t you say that then?
HARRIET My
heart went out to you when you asked �would you mind �Tucker�?� I saw how much
baggage you were dumping on the table when you suggested your mother�s maiden
name.
SALLY
What�s all this, Tucker versus Beppuchinsky?
HARRIET It�s
not that.
SALLY Then
what? Come on.
HARRIET
Look, all I�m saying is,
he�s your flesh. I am only a bystander.
SALLY Harry!
HARRIET
What?
SALLY That isn�t fair.
HARRIET
It has nothing to do with
fairness. I�m facing reality.
SALLY Reality? What reality?
(Pause)
HARRIET You
know, soon he�ll start talking. What will he call me? Surely not �Mother�?
SALLY Why
not?
HARRIET
Two mothers? In just a few years it would become damn confusing.
SALLY All
right, then. �Co-mother�?
HARRIET
Forget it.
SALLY
�Mother� and �Mommy.�
HARRIET
Sure. And you know who�ll be the �Mommy.�
SALLY
Well� how about �Harry�?
HARRIET
You see? He�ll call you �Mom� and me �Harry.�
SALLY
Okay. I�ll train him to call me �Sally.�
HARRIET I
don�t like it when children call their parents by their first names. They sound
like strangers.
SALLY Then
we�ll invent names we both can live with. Okay?
HARRIET
Okay. (She stands up.) Sally�
SALLY Yes?
HARRIET I
don�t know how to break it to you�
SALLY
Jesus, Harriet! Are you having an affair?
HARRIET
It�s more serious than that.
SALLY What
can be more serious than having an affair?
HARRIET I
want a baby.
SALLY We
have a baby.
HARRIET A
child of my own.
SALLY
You�ve got a child. His name is Tucker.
HARRIET
It�s not the same. I�m like a stepfather.
SALLY
Stepmother.
HARRIET
No, stepfather. Somehow, I
seem to have acquired all the features of a father� bringing home the bacon and
kissing Tucker good night. I�ve even stopped cooking� except for Sunday brunch.
SALLY (She steps back.) Are you jealous of me?
HARRIET In
a way� in a very fundamental and stupid way� yes, I�m jealous� but of Tucker,
not you. He�s changing me from a partner into a stepfather. (Beat) I used to think that the really
fabulous thing about a relationship between two women is that everything is
possible� not just in sex. Everything�
including being father and mother.
But right now, I am mostly just a father.
SALLY How
long has this been going on?
HARRIET
I don�t remember� maybe
since he started sharing our bed.
SALLY But you�ve no reason to be jealous.
HARRIET That�s easy for you to say. (Beat). But I�ve got to give it a try.
SALLY What
sort of a try?
HARRIET
Well, it�s going to take at least two months preparation because I�d like to
use IVF. But first, I need to see how the superovulation will go. I�m 37 years
old. Not too old to have a baby provided I�m fertile� but old enough to take
precautions.
SALLY You
mean amniocentesis?
HARRIET
No� I don�t want to take that route. If anything is wrong� abortion would be
the only alternative, because I�d already be three months pregnant. I�m opting
for pre-implantation genetic screening of the embryos. In other words, no
turkey baster. No ordinary artificial insemination. It�s got to be ICSI. A
single sperm injected into my egg and then choosing the right embryo. That
feels right.
SALLY Are
you planning to go to a sperm bank?
HARRIET No. I can�t handle an anonymous sperm
donor.
SALLY And after trying motherhood, if you don�t like it,
what then? You gonna hand it over to me: �Sorry, honey, I gave it a try, but it
didn�t work out. Let�s go back to where we started� but with two kids.�
HARRIET
It won�t be like that.
SALLY
You�re damn tootin� right
it won�t. Because the baby doesn�t go back into the test tube if you don�t like
it anymore.
HARRIET
Sally! That�s grossly unfair!
SALLY Is it? Would you be willing to take care of both our children while I go back to
work? Or you�ll look after yours and I�ll look after mine? I�m sure that if I
ask for my job back, they won�t mind if I bring Tucker into the studio with me.
(She imitates her news
reader�s voice.)
�And now back to the White House for some breaking
news on��
(She interrupts herself
to imitate the sound of Tucker crying.)
Ahhhhhh�harhhhhhhhhh! (Beat) And then I�ll explain to the listeners that this isn�t a new
baby in the White House but my son Tucker who is hungry. Of course, you�ll have
a job explaining to your patients in their underwear why you are changing your
baby�s diaper while discussing their incontinence problem.
HARRIET
Now you�re being stupid. (Beat) Of course, I�ve thought about this!
SALLY I don�t believe it! All you�ve thought
about is, �I�ll have what she�s having.� (There
is a simmering pause.) I can�t deal with this. I�m going to bed.
HARRIET
Fine!
(The door slams as Sally exits, leaving
Harriet alone and upset.)
END OF SCENE 5
Scene 6. LIGHTS ON HARRIET AND CAMERON in her
office a few weeks later, Harriet now wears a doctor�s white coat. Cameron
waits while she studies some test results.
CAMERON
Mind if I ask a question?
HARRIET
Ask.
CAMERON
What got you into urology?
HARRIET (Laughs) What makes you ask?
CAMERON (Embarrassed) You know. A woman urologist
and �
HARRIET A
lesbian?
CAMERON
Well... yeah.
HARRIET It
wasn�t for the obvious reasons� not the ones you and most other men� especially
so-called straights� think.
CAMERON
I�m sorry, I shouldn�t have asked.
HARRIET (Laughs) That�s okay, you can ask your
sister-in-law anything you like. Some people call urologists medical plumbers,
but just think what life would be without plumbers.
CAMERON So
you wanted to be a medical plumber?
HARRIET
Not just that. I�m also interested in male reproductive function.
CAMERON
Oh?
HARRIET
You don�t approve?
CAMERON On
the contrary, I think that�s neat. But what do y�all do there?
HARRIET
Well, I�ve done my share of vasectomies.
CAMERON
You call that �reproduction�?
HARRIET
Vasectomies prevent further reproduction. Lots of men find that important. (He frowns.) Although usually only after
they�ve had children.
(He nods, apparently finding that more acceptable.)
CAMERON
And� what about the other way around?
HARRIET Men
who have trouble reproducing?
(Embarrassed, he nods.)
HARRIET
They interest me even more.
(A pause)
CAMERON
You never asked why I came for such a short visit all the way to San Francisco.
HARRIET (She smiles to make him feel more
comfortable.) You missed your sister and your nephew?
CAMERON (Embarrassed). I came to ask whether you
can help us.
HARRIET I read your results. Your sperm are fine.
Perhaps the problem is your wife.
CAMERON Yeah, the doctor said she had obstructed fallopian
tubes and ovarian cysts.
HARRIET
That�s a tough call. (Brief pause) Have
you considered adoption?
CAMERON
Priscilla wants to give birth to our child.
HARRIET
Our child? Genetically, half of it would be
yours if your sperm is used, but the other half has to come from an egg donor.
And even then there�s no guarantee the transferred embryo would implant in your
wife�s uterus.
CAMERON (Impatient) I know all that.
HARRIET
Okay. Just checking you
do.
CAMERON I see. Well, thank you. It�s
difficult. I mean, I�ve been losing sleep over this.
HARRIET Whatever
it is, you can tell me in confidence. It will never leave this office.
(Cameron nods, appreciating that, thinking
it over.)
HARRIET You�re
considering IVF, is that it?
CAMERON (After a moment) What else can we do? We
want a child� powerfully bad.
HARRIET That
bad, huh? Well, I am sorry to hear that.
CAMERON You
believe in family?
HARRIET How can you even ask? That�s part of what brought Sally and me together.
CAMERON I never intended to turn my back on Sally. But Mom and Dad� and then Priscilla�
HARRIET
Enough! I know all that
from Sally.
(For a moment, Harriet lets Cameron
struggle to contain his feelings. Then:)
HARRIET
I could help you.
CAMERON Really?
HARRIET
I�m a urologist�I deal
mostly with men� but I know lots of infertility specialists. I could help you
find an egg donor.
CAMERON You could? A suitable one?
HARRIET
What does �suitable�
mean?
CAMERON An egg that�ll help get us someone like Tucker. He�s
a wonderful kid.
HARRIET That he is. (Beat) But you�d leave the choice of donor up to a woman you don�t
approve of?
CAMERON Listen.
Approval and trust aren�t the same. I don�t approve of you�but you know� you�d
keep it in the family. That�s what my parents taught me. If you keep it in the
family, you can solve all your problems.
HARRIET
Okay. I�ll do what I can for you.
CAMERON
I�m much obliged.
HARRIET
Does Priscilla know about
this meeting?
CAMERON
Not yet.
HARRIET
But you�ve discussed the issues?
CAMERON
No.
HARRIET
Well, sooner or later� she�ll need to know what you�ve got in mind. And you�d
better make it �sooner.�
CAMERON I
guess so.
HARRIET Okay.
I�ll leave that up to you.
CAMERON Thanks.
I truly appreciate it.
HARRIET You�re
welcome.
CAMERON (Getting up to leave.) So what do I owe
you for this?
HARRIET Nothing
right now. I�m sure I�ll think of something. Bye for now.
CAMERON
Bye. (He starts to leave, then suddenly
stops and quickly and shyly kisses her on her cheek.) I think you�re neat,
Harriet.
HARRIET
That�s the nicest compliment I�ve had in some time.
(LIGHTS OUT as he exits.)
END OF SCENE 6
Scene 7. Priscilla and Cameron�s home in
Jackson, three months later. Cameron is standing in the middle of the
room. From an open door to the bedroom, a suitcase comes flying toward him. He
ducks to avoid it.
CAMERON Priscilla!
(Some shirts are hurled at him through the door.)
Honey!
(Some of his trousers are thrown at him.)
Prissy! You don�t want me to
leave.
PRISCILLA (Offstage, as some of his shoes are
launched at him:) Adulterer!
CAMERON I
wasn�t even in the same room with her!
(Priscilla, enraged, enters from the
bedroom brandishing a pair of scissors and his ties.)
PRISCILLA
Your sperm committed adultery!
(She
cuts through one of his ties.)
CAMERON Now,
hold on� those are my ties.
PRISCILLA We�re
married� our property is community property. That includes your ties and your
sperm� every single one of them.
(She
cuts another one of his ties in half.)
The Holy Scripture says so.
CAMERON
Where does it say so? (She cuts another
tie, quickly.) Never mind. What
about when I discard it? (She stops.)
PRISCILLA
When you what?
CAMERON
You know what I mean.
PRISCILLA
I don�t know what you�re talking about.
CAMERON:
Sure you do.
PRISCILLA
I�m not a mind reader.
CAMERON Well� (He hesitates.)� self-indulgence. That�s
not adultery.
PRISCILLA (Shocked) You do what?
CAMERON
Masturbate.
(She cuts another tie.)
PRISCILLA
Cameron Parker. I don�t ever want to hear that word in our house.
CAMERON
Okay! So! It�s sinful to use the word, but not a sin when you practice it?
PRISCILLA
What�s that supposed to mean?
CAMERON
I�ve seen you do it.
PRISCILLA
Once! And I begged the Lord to forgive me.
CAMERON
And you�ve never sinned that way again?
(She
can�t answer that. Instead:)
PRISCILLA Let
us pray. (She sinks to her knees with her
eyes closed.) "Oh Heavenly Father, purify our hearts and minds so that
we are relieved of the temptations of lust. Strengthen not only me� (She opens her eyes and notices that Cameron
is still standing and has not joined her
in prayer. Before continuing, she first taps the floor with one of her hands,
implying that she wishes him to kneel as well.)� but also my husband
against the malice and snares of the Devil. Let my husband�s eyes be opened to
his transgressions, and may he go forth and sin no more. Amen.
(At this point, Cameron yields by kneeling next to
her, and continues immediately:)
CAMERON
Cleanse my heart, Oh Lord, each time I trespass (Beat) as I surely will again. And may the Holy Spirit protect me
that I may continue to serve you faithfully in spite of my imperfections (Beat) and those of my wife. Amen.
PRISCILLA
How dare you even speak of self-indulgence? �Thou
shalt not spill thy seed in vain. �Genesis 38.
CAMERON
Onan wasted his seed by spilling it on the ground. Mine wasn�t wasted. Mine may
help Harriet conceive a child. Is that so sinful?
PRISCILLA That�s it! That is... it!
(She grabs her cell phone.)
CAMERON What are you doing?
PRISCILLA I�m calling your sister! (Beat). What�s the number?
CAMERON Don�t you think you should let Harriet tell her?
PRISCILLA Don�t mention that woman�s name to me! (Throws the phone down in frustration).
Why did it have to be you?
CAMERON I
might say it was the Christian thing to do� helping someone who was in need.
PRISCILLA Shame
on you! With your own sister-in-law!
CAMERON Prissy! They aren�t married!
PRISCILLA Worse!
Your own sister�s lesbian lover! How could you?
(She
bursts into tears. He approaches her cautiously.)
CAMERON
I wanted to know if I was
fertile� whether it�s my fault we still have no baby. This way I could find
out� �cause just looking at sperm under the microscope isn�t enough�and, at the
same time, keep it in the family� so to speak.
PRISCILLA
�Keep it in the family�?
CAMERON So to speak.
PRISCILLA) It�s my fault� I knew it all along. I�m paying for my sins.
CAMERON
Don�t start with that. It�s not your fault� you can�t help it. The doctor says
you have obstructed fallopian tubes and ovarian cysts. (Beat.) Prissy, what�s done is done. I did it because I want us to
have a baby. If I made a mistake, I�m sorry. But, at least, this way, we all
know where the genes come from. And whatever you think, it�s not incest. I
didn�t want to hurt you� I just believe in family... in keeping things in the
family. You know that. Nothing�s more important to me. That�s why I want us to
have a child� real bad. What�s wrong with that? (Beat) �And I will bless them that bless thee��
PRISCILLA �And
curse them that curseth thee.�
CAMERON
�And in thee shall all families of the earth be blessed.�
PRISCILLA Genesis.
CAMERON Chapter 12, verse
3.
(Long
pause)
PRISCILLA How
are we going to solve my problem?
CAMERON Another
woman could help.
PRISCILLA
Don�t think I haven�t thought about that.
CAMERON
Well?
PRISCILLA
But who would do that? I know, I wouldn�t do it for another woman� if I was
fertile.
CAMERON
Some generous woman might.
PRISCILLA How
would I find one? I�d be too embarrassed�
CAMERON
You want me to try?
PRISCILLA You
would? (Beat) But if you do, don�t
tell me about her.
CAMERON (Surprised) You wouldn�t want to know
who she was? What she looked like?
PRISCILLA
Of course I�d want to know something
about her: age� health� family background (Beat)
and, of course, religion.
CAMERON
Religion isn�t genetic. It�s just an egg.
PRISCILLA
Still... I�d be more comfortable if it were a Christian egg. But I wouldn�t
want to meet the donor� or see a photo. I guess just like in a sperm bank. You
get lots of information� genetic history, color, education� even hobbies and
favorite authors� descriptive stuff� but no photo or name.
CAMERON (Astonished) Hobbies? Favorite author?
How do you know that? (Beat) Pris!
You didn�t go to a sperm bank, did you? (He
looks at her, suddenly flabbergasted.) You did?
PRISCILLA
I didn�t go to a sperm bank�
CAMERON
But?
PRISCILLA
I looked at some� on the Internet.
You�d be amazed what you can find there. More information on an anonymous sperm
donor than I ever knew about my own husband.
CAMERON
Why didn�t you tell me any of that?
PRISCILLA
I was scared.
CAMERON Of
me?
PRISCILLA
I don�t know. Maybe I was scared� that I�d be tempted.
CAMERON
And now?
PRISCILLA
I guess I�m about to yield to temptation. But you�ve got to tell me�
CAMERON (Shocked, he interrupts her.) Wait! You
just said you didn�t want to know the identity of the egg donor.
PRISCILLA
I don�t want to know about her, I just want you to tell me how you�ll fertilize
her egg. Promise you�ll do it with ICSI� and no other way!
CAMERON (Flabbergasted) ICSI? How do you know
about ICSI?
PRISCILLA
I looked it up on the Internet. With ICSI only one sperm is misused.
CAMERON Misused?
PRISCILLA
Because it isn�t natural, but I wouldn�t want you to do it the natural way�.
with millions of sperm. It seems less sinful� doing it with only one.
CAMERON Well,
we may need several sperm. With ICSI, one generally injects more than one egg.
PRISCILLA
And what will you do with the extra embryos?
CAMERON Why
do you need to know these things?
PRISCILLA Because
I do!
CAMERON
Get them to freeze them.
PRISCILLA
For how long?
CAMERON I
don�t know. Until we�re sure we won�t need them anymore.
PRISCILLA
And then?
CAMERON (Getting impatient and flustered.) I
don�t know. Give them up for adoption?
PRISCILLA
Hush! I don�t want to hear anymore about it.
(She falls to her knees, dragging him down with her hand.) Oh Lord, have
pity on these two sinners who want a child so badly, and grant our wish for a
successful birth. Whatever impure thoughts we had� whatever improprieties we
committed�
CAMERON �
or may commit in the future�
PRISCILLA
� whatever secrets we kept from each other�
CAMERON �
or may keep from each other�
PRISCILLA (Startled, she quickly looks at him and
then interjects:) � or discover
unbeknownst to the other�
CAMERON �
or even those never uncovered�
PRISCILLA
� but especially�
CAMERON (He quickly interrupts her.)� forgive
us, because we mean no ill.
PRISCILLA Still�
CAMERON (He quickly interrupts her again, more
forcefully.)� Amen!
PRISCILLA But�
CAMERON (Even louder and more forcefully)� I
said, Amen!
(He rises from his knees and pulls her up
with him.)
END OF SCENE 7
END OF ACT 1
ACT 2
(Unbeknownst to Priscilla, Cameron enters. He stops,
surprised to see his wife on the table (or floor), but says nothing.)
PRISCILLA
�Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor
standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful�� (At this stage she shifts into an ordinary
loud voice in a rapid, admonishing tone without shutting off the music.)
Ashley, honey, that means you�ve got to be good and stay good� and �good� means
that you must not sit in the �seat of the scornful.� Remember that, Ashley:
never sit there! Never!
(Priscilla
resumes quoting in her earlier biblical
recitative style from the Psalms, chapter 4, while conducting in the air with
her left hand.)
PRISCILLA
�Stand in awe, and sin not. Commune with your own heart upon your bed, and be
still.�
(She touches her stomach as if she were feeling some
pain, then switches to her ordinary loud voice in an admonishing tone without
shutting off the music.)
PRISCILLA
Ashley, honey.... you'll have to remember not to rumble around too much in
mommy�s tummy. So pay attention to your mommy and of course the Lord. It says
so in the Psalms.
(She resumes quoting in her earlier biblical
recitative style from the Psalms, chapter 8, while conducting in the air with
her left hand.)
PRISCILLA
�Out of the mouth of babes and sucklings�� (She
quickly switches to loud conventional speech.) Don�t forget� in just a few
months that�ll be you, Ashley� and �suckling� means you�ll be drinking your
mummy�s milk.
CAMERON (He steps slightly forward, but is still not
noticed by Priscilla.) Jeez,
Pris! What�s going on?
(Priscilla does not hear him. She resumes quoting in
her earlier biblical recitative style from the Psalms, chapter 16, while
conducting in the air with her left hand.)
PRISCILLA
�Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoiceth: my flesh also shall rest
in hope��
CAMERON (He steps farther forward and interrupts in
a loud voice:) �For thou wilt not
leave my soul in hell; neither wilt thou suffer thine Holy One to see
corruption.�
(Priscilla jumps up and the CD player falls to the
floor, cutting off the music.)
PRISCILLA
My God, you scared me! What did you say?
CAMERON The
end of chapter 16 in the Psalms. But what are you doing?
PRISCILLA
Prenatal training of Ashley. Our son.
CAMERON
How do you know we�ll have a son?
PRISCILLA
I can feel it. But if the Lord provides otherwise, Ashley will also work for a
girl. It�s a good Southern name.
CAMERON
But we agreed we�d wait until the baby is born before picking a name. (Beat) Together!
PRISCILLA
I�ve got to call him something while I talk to him. (She pats her stomach.)
CAMERON
And you never told me?
PRISCILLA I
was planning to.
(He bends down to pick up the CD player, which
suddenly resumes the Mozart.)
PRISCILLA (She leans over to shut off the music.)
The Mozart effect. Listening to Mozart raises people�s I.Q. It�s called the
transformational power of music. Babies are smarter after listening to Mozart.
And rats exposed to lots of Mozart made fewer errors running in a maze. It�s
called the transformational power of music.
CAMERON
That�s musical snake oil.
PRISCILLA
No it isn�t. (Speaks as if she were
quoting) The structures of the
rondo and the sonata-allegro forms are supposed to help the brain.
CAMERON
But you don�t know anything about (dismissive
tone) �the rondo.�
PRISCILLA
Neither do you.
CAMERON True.
PRISCILLA
You see? So how do you know it�s snake oil.
CAMERON
How do you know about the Mozart effect?
PRISCILLA
It says so on the Internet.
CAMERON
Pris, I don�t know about rats and Mozart, but you�re spending too much time on
the computer. It isn�t good for him. (Points
to her stomach).
PRISCILLA
Too much radiation?
CAMERON
Too much information.
PRISCILLA It�s prenatal Christian training. You can�t start early enough. If there�s a Mozart Effect, why not also a Jesus
Effect? That�s why I was quoting from the Psalms. You can call it prenatal
Christian training.
CAMERON (Losing his calm, almost shouting) Pris! Listen, Prissy! The baby—
PRISCILLA
(Interrupts) It�s Ashley.
CAMERON
All right� Ashley. But he can�t hear these words� or your music! He isn�t wired
yet for that� not three months after the embryo transfer!
PRISCILLA
Well, that�s why I have this wiring around me� so Ashley can hear it inside me.
(Points to wrapping around her waist). Anyway,
what do you know about baby wiring?
CAMERON It
takes much longer. Take Einstein. He didn�t even start speaking until after he
was two years old!
PRISCILLA
I only want a smart baby� not a little Einstein. And listening to Scripture
can�t hurt (pats her stomach) little
Ashley. You can never start too early.
CAMERON (Shakes his head). Jeez Pris.
PRISCILLA
(Beat). Cam� why are you going to
California again?
CAMERON I
want to see how Sally is managing with Tucker. After all he�s my nephew.
PRISCILLA
Is that the only reason?
CAMERON
It�s the only one until the next Forgiveness Time.
END OF SCENE 8
Scene 9. LIGHTS ON a scene a few days later in
San Francisco apartment of Sally and Harriet. Sally is reading, while Harriet
sits quietly staring into space. Max gently rocks baby Tucker in his cradle. Cameron
looks fondly at the baby.
CAMERON
Cute kid, that Tucker. He hardly ever cries.
MAX Why
should he? He�s got two mothers and me.
CAMERON
Three parents.
SALLY (Looking up from her book) Two
parents� me and Harriet.
CAMERON
What about Max?
SALLY He�s
the sperm donor.
CAMERON
That makes him the daddy.
SALLY Biological
daddy.
CAMERON Jeez,
Sally—
MAX Forget
it, Cam. I�m like you� you�re the biological uncle� and I�m the biological
father. (Rocks cradle). At this
stage, Tucker doesn�t know the difference.
CAMERON (Shocked, interrupts) Father and uncle
isn�t the same. I don�t know whether I could handle it.
HARRIET (Who until now had quietly concentrated,
looking into space, gave a start) You don�t really mean that, do you?
CAMERON (Embarrassed) I guess not.
HARRIET
I�m relieved. (Beat). I guess I�ll
finish with my exercises in the bedroom. (Exits)
CAMERON (To Max) What exercises?
MAX Kegel
exercises. When she does them, she doesn�t talk� at least not to us. You
interrupted her.
CAMERON Never
heard of �em.
SALLY You
should tell Priscilla about them. It�s good for pregnant women.
MAX It
will even improve your sex life.
SALLY
Don�t embarrass my prim brother.
CAMERON
Will someone tell this poor Southern boy what y�all are talking about?
MAX You
see, sister-in-law, he�s interested. Tell him.
SALLY You
do it. I want to finish my book. (Exits).
CAMERON
Are you going to tell me?
MAX Sure�
but it�s second hand. I can only tell you about the outcome.
CAMERON Quit
stalling.
MAX Lot�s
of women do Kegels, not just pregnant ones. They�re designed to tighten a
woman�s pelvic floor muscles. (Notes
blank expression in Cameron�s face). They�re like a hammock, holding up the
pelvic organs. It�s good for pregnant women� tightens up their vaginal muscles.
It also prevents leakage of urine and it�s supposed to improve sexual enjoyment
in intercourse.
CAMERON You
say �supposed.�?
MAX (Grins) Actually, it does.
CAMERON And
how does one do them?
MAX Squeeze
those muscles hard for 3 seconds, relax and repeat it. Harriet claims, it�s
easiest to tell women to think of an elevator with the entrance the vagina of a
six-storied building. They�re supposed to contract the muscles at each floor
stop. Harriet claims she rides that elevator fifty times a day.
CAMERON And
that�s what she did just then?
MAX No one can tell when a woman is exercising: at dull meetings�
boring conversations� watching TV� brushing her teeth� you name it. Harriet
thinks every pregnant woman should do Kegels. I think you should tell your wife
about them.
CAMERON Jeez, Max! We don�t talk about those things.
MAX (Points to Tucker in the cradle) I bet he
will when he grows up. At least one of his two mothers will tell him.
Harriet enters, walks over to Max and gives him an affectionate shove.
HARRIET
Move� sperm donor. It�s time for one of Tucker�s parents to take over. (Takes the sleeping baby out of the cradle
and rocks the baby gently in her arms as she sits down). Actually� go join
the other mother. I want to talk to the uncle� in private.
MAX (Good-naturedly) Whatever the doctor
orders.
(Bends over to give her a kiss on the
forehead and exits)
HARRIET
Cam, we�ve got to talk. Seriously.
CAMERON (Taken aback) About what?
HARRIET
Us.
CAMERON
Us? What do you mean?
HARRIET
I�m four months pregnant.
CAMERON I
know. That�s one of the reasons I came. I wanted to know how you were.
Priscilla felt pretty bad until recently. Morning sickness.
HARRIET
You said she�s three months pregnant� she�ll soon be past the worst.
CAMERON
Yeah� she feels better now.
HARRIET I
thought you came to see your nephew. Why did you want to see me?
CAMERON Because�
(hesitates out of embarrassment)� you
know why�
HARRIET (Sharply) No, I don�t.
CAMERON Jeez,
Harriet.
HARRIET (Sharply) Tell me. Why?
CAMERON (Points at her stomach) I got you pregnant� so I felt responsible—
HARRIET (Quickly, almost angrily) Hold it, Hold
it! You didn�t get me pregnant� and you�re certainly not responsible. (Beat) Okay, listen. Listen very carefully: We used a few sperm of yours� seven to be precise� for injection
into seven of my eggs. You wanted to know whether you were fertile� you didn�t
do it because you wanted a child with me! In your book that would�ve been
adultery! And I agreed to use one of your sperm only because I wanted a baby of
my own together with Sally. And since she�s your sister, she�s contributing to
the baby�s gene pool through your sperm. It was my decision� and it�s my
responsibility. You got out of the loop, once you masturbated.
CAMERON (Dry with touch of irony) Much obliged Ma�am... for this clear explanation.
HARRIET
I�m not finished. The moment the embryo implanted in my uterus, I offered to
let you and Priscilla use some if you wished. That was the only bargain between
us. That your wife became pregnant with one of those embryos is your
responsibility� not mine. (Ever more
intense) When this boy is born (She
points to her stomach.) he will be my
son. And when Priscilla gives birth that will be your son. Is that understood? Let�s not confuse those two sons.
CAMERON It�s
not as simple as that.
HARRIET Oh
yes, it is.
CAMERON And�
if I have feelings?
HARRIET You
deal with them. But you and your Christian wife have no rights over my son.
CAMERON Is
that a threat?
HARRIET I
wouldn�t dream of threatening you. I like you. I�m just giving you the facts.
(There
is a tense pause.)
CAMERON How
do you know they�ll both be boys?
HARRIET
Because I wanted mine to be a boy.
CAMERON But
that�s no guarantee. God decides what we get and we�ll be grateful for whatever
blessing He bestows.
HARRIET (Gentler) Cam, I don�t want to argue
religion with you. This is biology. (Beat)
We used ICSI for the fertilization, right?
CAMERON Right.
HARRIET
Injecting one sperm into each egg, right?
CAMERON Right.
HARRIET
The sex of the child is always controlled by the sperm. A Y chromosome-bearing
sperm leads to a boy, an X chromosome-bearing sperm to a girl. I�m sure you
learned that in high school—even in Mississippi.
CAMERON So
what are you telling me?
HARRIET
That the technology� it�s called flow cytometry� has now been developed to
separate X- from Y-sperm—
CAMERON (Taken aback) And you used that flow� thingamajig?
HARRIET
Yes.
CAMERON And
you didn�t tell me?
HARRIET
That wasn�t part of the bargain. You wanted to know whether you�re fertile. I
wanted to have a son, and you wanted to have a child with your wife. There
weren�t any more eggs of mine left for new ICSI injections. I was generous
enough to let you use some of the remaining embryos and all of those were
potential males.
CAMERON Jeez!
HARRIET
Cam, stop using that word. It�s driving me crazy. And what�s wrong with your
having a boy?
CAMERON Nothing. But picking the sex of the child is
so�
HARRIET
Don�t tell me� unnatural.
CAMERON Yes.
HARRIET
And you think ICSI is natural? Most of modern medicine is full of interventions
and materials that cannot be found in nature. You think �unnatural� is
automatically �unethical?� (He falls
silent.) But I wanted to talk about something else.
CAMERON You
mean there�s more?
HARRIET
You bet there is.
CAMERON What
is it?
HARRIET I
wish you and Priscilla had waited until Jan was born before starting with the
embryo transfer.
CAMERON Jan?
HARRIET My
son.
CAMERON Is
that what you�re calling him?
HARRIET
Yes�
CAMERON Why
did you want us to wait?
HARRIET
Wouldn�t it have been prudent to see first if everything was okay with Jan?
After all, the other embryos came from the same woman and the same man.
CAMERON
Any other reason?
HARRIET
Now� if everything goes according to schedule� the two boys will be born less
than four weeks apart.
CAMERON So
what?
HARRIET
They could even turn out to be twins.
(Pause)
CAMERON I�m
sorry. I don�t get it.
HARRIET Of
course, not identical twins. But what are twins but siblings from the same
biological mother and father� but born at the same time?
CAMERON
Your baby and ours won�t be born at the same time.
HARRIET If
fraternal twins grow in separate sacs in the mother�s uterus and one breaks
prematurely, you can have twins born at somewhat different times� even some
weeks apart. They�ll still be twins.
CAMERON
Jeez!
HARRIET
Exactly� Jeez! If they�re born that close together, they�re essentially twins�
and that, in turn, might lead to a very special bonding with each other�
CAMERON (Shocked) What?
HARRIET
Whereas they would not be twins if they were born nine months or more apart.
They�d be ordinary brothers. Now I hope you understand why you complicated
matters by not waiting.
(Cameron
nods, reluctantly.)
HARRIET Of
course, only you and I will know that our sons might be virtual twins since for
everyone else, two different women gave birth to them 2000 miles apart. You
said you wouldn�t tell your wife where the embryos came from.
CAMERON She
didn�t want to know.
HARRIET
What if she changes her mind?
CAMERON Jeez,
Harriet�
HARRIET No
�Jeez.� I need to know what you will do if she changes her mind.
CAMERON I
don�t know what I�ll do!
(Pause)
HARRIET Well�
whatever you decide, don�t you ever forget: My son belongs to Sally and me.
Your son is yours and Priscilla�s. Is that understood?
CAMERON I
can�t say.
HARRIET You
can�t� or you won�t?
CAMERON Both.
END OF SCENE 9
Scene10. Priscilla�s and Cameron�s living room in
Mississippi, five months later. Priscilla, looking exhausted and disheveled,
paces up and down with her hands over her ears. In the background through the
open door are heard the periodic piercing screams of a three-week‑old
baby. This screaming at different decibel levels and intervals must continue
through most of scene 10.
PRISCILLA
(Almost screaming) I can�t stand it
anymore! Three weeks� and he hasn�t stopped!
CAMERON (He enters with the screaming baby in his
arms.) Pris� try just once more.
PRISCILLA (Almost desperate) I can�t� I won�t� you
know it doesn�t help.
CAMERON
It�s only colic� you heard the doctor. It�s acid reflux. His guts can�t cope
yet with your milk.
PRISCILLA (Again she puts her hands over her ears.)
I�ve had it with his screaming.
CAMERON Here�
hold him. I�ll bring the new milk the doc prescribed. Maybe it�ll help.
PRISCILLA (She takes the baby, but holds it in a
manner that indicates little affection.) All right� but hurry! (The baby screams.) Ashley� will you
shut up? � please! Please shut up! (New baby scream) Wait! Please wait! Daddy is bringing some new
milk. (New baby scream) Ashley! It�s
different from Mama�s milk� I know you hate mine. But I can�t help it, Ashley�
it�s all I got. (Less loud baby scream)
You should have waited, Ashley� you came four weeks too early. (New louder baby scream) Your tummy
hasn�t learned yet how to handle Mama�s milk. (New baby scream, whereupon Priscilla screams.) Cam! Where are you with the damn milk? He�s driving me crazy.
CAMERON (He rushes in with the bottle.)
Prissy... don�t use such language� Here�s the bottle.
PRISCILLA (She grabs the bottle, but quickly thrusts
it back at him.) Damn you, Cam, damn you! It�s too hot! Can�t you do
anything right?
(He leaves. Shortly thereafter, the sound of running
water is heard, followed by the baby�s renewed scream.)
PRISCILLA
Ashley, you got to wait! Your mama begs you. (New louder baby scream) Ashley� I�ll strangle you if you don�t (Very loudly) shut up!
(There is a renewed loud scream, whereupon she
roughly puts the baby into his cradle and falls on her knees, rocking back and
forth with her hands clasped over her ears.)
PRISCILLA
My Lord and Savior�. I beg you on my knees to listen to this sinner. I do not
deserve this punishment. I� do� not� deserve it!
CAMERON (He rushes in with the bottle, then
stops, startled to find his wife on her knees, rocking back and forth.) What happened? (New
baby scream)
PRISCILLA (She points to the cradle.) I can�t
handle it any more.
CAMERON
Let me try.
(He bends over the baby, offering the bottle, which
produces prolonged silence.)
PRISCILLA (She rises, surprised.) Oh Lord� you have listened to my prayer.
CAMERON
Maybe it was only your milk.
PRISCILLA
Let me do it.
(She lifts the baby out of the cradle while
continuing to feed it with the bottle. After a pause, the screams resume, ever
louder. She tries to adjust the position of the baby and bottle without
success. In desperation, she flings the bottle across the room and screams at
the baby as she practically throws him into the cradle.)
PRISCILLA
I hate you! I hate you! God only knows how I hate you!
(Cameron interrupts her, shouting almost as loudly,
while picking up the cradle and heading for the door.)
CAMERON
Pris! For heaven�s sake! You don�t hate him. You can�t hate him. You mustn�t
hate him.
(He takes the cradle into the other room.)
PRISCILLA (Wailing) Lord, forgive me. I didn�t mean what I said!
(He rushes in after carefully closing the door, thus
dampening the noise of the periodic baby screams that will be heard in the
background through the remainder of the scene.)
CAMERON
Prissy, Prissy, Prissy! (He takes her in
his arms.) You�ve got to pull yourself together.
PRISCILLA (Sobbing on his shoulder) I know, hon�
but I haven�t slept since I came back from the hospital. There must be
something wrong with him. I even tried Mozart.
CAMERON (He tries to cheer her up.) Maybe Ashley
is overdosed with Mozart. But the good Lord� and time will help. It�s his
digestive system� I�m sure of it. The doctor said so. It�s not uncommon with
preemies.
PRISCILLA
I can�t continue� I�m afraid what I might do.
CAMERON
We�ll get some help.
PRISCILLA
How?
CAMERON
Last night, I called Sally.
PRISCILLA Why
not your parents?
CAMERON I called them earlier. They
said �pray.� And when I told them you�d been doing that all the time, Dad just
said �pray more.� Well, I�ve done that and now I need some real, practical help
and they�re too old for that. So I phoned Harriet� I mean, Sally�
PRISCILLA
You phoned Harriet? Why
did you do that? No lies to me, Cameron, no lies this time! You tell me!
CAMERON I just� because her baby� (Beat) He was born on the same day as Ashley�
PRISCILLA
And you didn�t tell me that
earlier?
CAMERON I didn�t think you�d take kindly to it.
PRISCILLA
But why her?
CAMERON Look, all I wanted was to know how her son was. I
wanted to know if they were having any problems�
PRISCILLA
Because you�re also his
father?
CAMERON Jeez, Pris, I was only the sperm donor!
PRISCILLA
But genetically�
CAMERON Well� okay, yeah� the father. That�s why I called.
PRISCILLA
And?
CAMERON And� she said he didn�t make a peep. Drinks his
mother�s milk and sleeps.
PRISCILLA (Explosively) God damn them! All of
them!
(During the following, the baby�s screams
get louder and louder.)
CAMERON (Utterly shocked) Priscilla Parker! You
can�t say that! (He closes his eyes and
lowers his head.) Lord and Savior. Forgive my wife, who is not herself. Who
is sick in mind and soul for reasons that only you understand. Let her examine
herself to see whether she�s still in the faith and do not punish her for
blasphemies that she couldn�t have meant. And since only thy words are true,
shed light on my wife to lead her back to the path she has lost. Amen.
(As he turns to her, he sees that she has
picked up one of one of her dolls, her favorite one, and is rocking violently
back and forth clinging on to it.)
PRISCILLA
Make it stop... make it
stop...
CAMERON Come on� I�m getting you out of here. You need help.
(He takes her by her hand and starts exiting as
LIGHTS DIM.)
END OF SCENE 10
Scene
11. San Francisco
apartment of Sally and Harriet, four weeks later. Max gently rocks a cradle
with Ashley. Harriet sits across from him, breastfeeding Jan. Faint but
distinct Mozart music (Oboe Concerto in C major, K. 314) is heard in the
background.
MAX I feel
sorry for Cam. He�s a good egg.
HARRIET That
he is.
MAX I�m
glad Sally is taking him to the airport. He needs cheering up before he gets
back to Mississippi.
HARRIET
Recovery from postpartum psychosis can take time.
(Incipient slight crying sounds from Ashley in
cradle. Max takes him out of the cradle and gestures to Harriet.)
MAX They
better trade places. I think Ashley is hungry� or maybe it�s sibling jealousy.
(Harriet hands over Jan and takes Ashley, who
immediately quiets down as he is fed.)
HARRIET
Lucky he�s got two aunts
here. There�s no way Cam could have managed by himself.
MAX
(Wryly) And four weeks later, here
we are.
HARRIET
What d�you mean?
MAX
I mean, lots of things
can change in four weeks.
HARRIET
Like Ashley getting over
his colic?
MAX
Or the aunt not just
being a wet nurse.
HARRIET
What are you trying to
say, Max?
(Harriet places Ashley in the same cradle as Jan,
then returns to her chair.)
MAX
Remarkable resemblance.
HARRIET Many
babies look alike at that age.
MAX Bull
shit. Does Sally know how Priscilla got pregnant� and around the same time as
you?
HARRIET You should ask Ashley�s parents.
MAX I�m asking you. Or have you been carrying some sort of
tranquilizer in your boobs?
HARRIET I
thought you worked in the Public Defender�s Office, not the District
Attorney�s.
MAX
Listen. I�m not just your brother. I�m Tucker�s biological father, and I�m
Jan�s uncle. All of which puts me on your side. But am I now also Ashley�s
uncle? That wasn�t part of the deal.
HARRIET
What sort of deal are you talking about?
MAX (Good-naturedly) To accept your
co-parenting with Sally and not to interfere beyond certain limits. In other
words, be an affectionate sperm donor and uncle� but nothing more� which suited
me just fine� at least until recently.
HARRIET
Max� you�ve been wonderful.
MAX I
know� but now... I suspect we have a situation.
HARRIET (After a pause) I�m afraid.
MAX (He sits down next to her with his arm around her
shoulder.) You�ve got good reason to
be. So... was it one of your excess
embryos?
(Harriet nods her head.)
MAX And you
never told Sally?
HARRIET That�s
why I�m scared.
MAX What
about Priscilla?
HARRIET (She shakes her head.) She didn�t want
to know about the egg donor. And Cam didn�t want me to tell anyone else.
MAX Taking
Cameron�s side rather than your brother�s or your partner�s?
HARRIET I
wasn�t taking sides. I didn�t want to get involved.
MAX You
think Sally will buy that?
HARRIET
Please Max, I feel terrible enough.
MAX Does
Priscilla know who your sperm donor
was?
HARRIET I
think so.
MAX (He shakes his head.) As Cam would say,
�Jeez, Harriet.� (Beat) I think you need a lawyer.
HARRIET (Sharply) What kind of a lawyer?
MAX (He looks at her for a while, finally
squeezing her shoulder.) Me.
HARRIET (Quickly) You don�t know anything about
family law.
MAX That�s
not important. Your kind of family law hasn�t been written yet. For a start,
how would a lawyer define Cameron�s roles? He�s the father of twins� each from
a different legal mother� some sort of uncle-in-law of his own son and uncle of
his son�s stepbrother� (He throws up his
hands.) � I could go on.
HARRIET
What�s your point?
MAX You
need a lawyer� who�ll keep you out of the clutches of other lawyers� and charge
nothing for those services. Can you think of anyone else?
HARRIET Who�s
going to sue me? Cameron?
MAX Not on
his own. He isn�t that sort of guy. But Priscilla? She may be livid and jealous
and revengeful.
HARRIET
For what?
MAX Believing
she�d been manipulated into giving birth to a child of a lesbian mother. What
if she sues for joint custody of your
son, who is also some sort of stepson of hers? Or maybe exclusive custody so
he�s not being brought up in a heathen home? And sues you in a Mississippi
court rather than here in San Francisco? God only knows how a Mississippi
family court might rule.
HARRIET
You�re out of your mind! She can�t do that.
MAX I hope
you�re right. But why, for heaven�s sake, didn�t you have some legally binding
agreement with Cameron?
HARRIET
For what? For asking him to lend me a few sperm for injections into my own eggs?
MAX
�Lending?� It was an irrevocable transfer of title to property� property that
you made much more valuable as a consequence of the use to which you put it.
HARRIET (Angrily) There was no agreement about
that property being returned upon request! And when I gave him access to some
of the remaining embryos, it was a gift� an unrestricted gift. I didn�t even
want to know what he�d use them for
MAX: How
could you not want to know?
HARRIET (Increasingly angry, bordering on
guilt) For me, an embryo in a Petri
dish or in a freezer is an abstraction� a clump of 8 or 16 or 32 cells� nothing
more, It�s only when that abstraction is transferred into a woman and implants
are we dealing with reality. And I was focusing on my own uterus�
MAX Some
legal journal will have a field day reporting this if it ever comes to trial.
(A pause)
HARRIET Oh,
shit!
MAX I
could try to help you avoid this.
HARRIET
How?
MAX She�ll
never sue without convincing her husband to join her.
HARRIET
And Cam will never agree to that.
MAX I�ve
never believed in the word �never,� but I am a believer in preemption. How
about getting everyone to agree to arbitration for whatever problems may arise
from this spectacularly complicated reproductive mess between five adults� and
not all of them consenting ones.
HARRIET
And if she doesn�t go for it?
MAX Then
at least agree to some group counseling� with all of you.
HARRIET
Other than Jesus Christ� can you think of a candidate for that noncompulsory
arbitrator of yours?
MAX No,
but I can give it a try.
HARRIET Max,
why are you so good to me?
MAX What
else would I do with my free time? You�re lucky I�m still a bachelor.
HARRIET
You�ll make a spectacular
husband to some lucky woman.
MAX (Grinning) That I�ve always known. But
now that I have dipped my foot into the sea of fatherhood as you once so
charmingly put it—
HARRIET (Interrupts) You like it?
MAX I love
it. All I need now is to find the right partner and I�m ready to dive in.
(Sally enters, throws her coat on a chair and drops
into another one.)
SALLY (Groans) I need a drink� after that
scene at the airport. (Pours herself a
drink).
SALLY
Cam�s been told he can pick up Priscilla and bring her home. He sees it as
great news through his rose-tinted glasses. I had to tell him it was a pigment
of his imagination.
MAX (Laughs) That�s a good one. I may use
that someday in court. (Mimics formal
tone) �Your honor� this is just some pigment of my learned counsel�s
imagination.�
HARRIET
It�s not funny� not now. What else happened?
SALLY He
thinks she�ll want to see Ashley right away.
HARRIET
And one of us is supposed to bring the kid to Mississippi?
SALLY No.
Cameron will bring Priscilla here.
MAX Wow!
SALLY What
do you mean by that?
MAX (With a quick look to Harriet) Nothing.
HARRIET (She points to the cradle.) Look at the
two� sleeping so peacefully.
SALLY (Regret in her voice) That won�t last
much longer.
HARRIET I
don�t know how I�ll cope with that.
SALLY (Sympathetically) I know it�s tough�
after breast feeding him for a month� We�ll all miss him. But... you�ll be
going back to work�
(Harriet
indicates with a look to Max for him to leave the room.)
MAX Let me
take the kids into the bedroom.
SALLY Why?
MAX I
think the two of you need privacy.
(He leaves with the two kids. Sally, a
little puzzled, watches him go.)
SALLY What was that about?
HARRIET
Sally. You noticed any similarity between Ashley and Jan?
SALLY (She shrugs her shoulders.) Some� but at
that age many babies look pretty similar� especially if they share the same
father.
HARRIET
It�s not just that. (Beat). I mean, common genes... perhaps more
common than you think.
SALLY (Beat) More common than just from the
same father? What are you driving at?
HARRIET I
don�t know how to tell you this�
SALLY (Now it is sinking in.) Oh my God, Harriet!
HARRIET I
am so sorry.
SALLY (Short silence) We had a plan� two children� Tucker and Jan� with us their parents� and
Max and Cam their uncles.
HARRIET
How could I�ve known it would turn out like this?
SALLY (Almost screaming) Well you�re an idiot!
A total, total, total idiot!
HARRIET
Listen! You have no idea what I�ve been through this last month. All my energy
has gone into learning how to become a mother of one baby, while distancing
myself from another.
SALLY (Still screaming) That�s not what I�m
talking about! It seems you gave one of your embryos to Priscilla! Anything
else I should know about? Is there a triplet hiding somewhere? Or sextuplets?
After all, you had seven embryos. What were you aiming for? An ice hockey team?
HARRIET
Sally! Please!
SALLY
Please what?
HARRIET I
thought I was just doing an infertile couple a favor� until I realized I was
nursing my child� a child that will
be taken away from me.
SALLY Oh,
shit, Harriet! Shit, shit, shit!
(A
pause)
HARRIET First,
you must know that I love you� deeply. Before you walk away, you�ve got to hear
that: I� love� you. I�ve loved you
from day one.
SALLY Oh,
God. How did this happen?
HARRIET Remember
when we decided that Cam could be my sperm donor? And you were worried that he
wouldn�t want to be just a sperm donor?
SALLY Get
to the point.
HARRIET When
Cam told me he was looking for a surrogate embryo for Priscilla, but that she
didn�t want to know anything about the egg donor, I figured if I used his sperm
and my eggs and allowed him and Priscilla to use some of the excess embryos, he
wouldn�t bug me once he had his own baby� in Mississippi. About as far away
from here as possible.
SALLY (Angrily)
But why didn�t you tell me that was
the deal? Is there something about me that makes you think you can�t talk to me
about these things? When I first met you I thought we
had an understanding. You were my rock� solid, stable, reliable� that�s why I
picked you. But now everything�s changed. I don�t know who you are anymore.
You�re not my Harriet.
HARRIET Sally!
He asked me to promise not to tell anybody.
SALLY And
you think that promise is more important than our relationship? Jesus, Harriet!
You had no right to make that promise.
(Sally picks up the coat she threw on the
chair earlier, puts it on and leaves, slamming the door behind her. Harriet stands staring at the door. Max
appears in the bedroom doorway and is about to say something when we hear the
sound of the key in the door.)
SALLY (Still
steaming) The point is,
you shouldn't have agreed to the use of any of your embryos without discussing
it with me. It's that simple.
HARRIET I
could have done that� I should have done that� I wish I�d done that � but I
didn�t. (Beat) I now know it was a
mistake� a monumental mistake, but what more can I say?
SALLY It�s
bad enough what you did. But twins? I am Jan�s co-mother!
HARRIET How was I supposed to know they would use
one of my embryos so soon? And that it would implant at the first try? And that
their baby would be born prematurely on the very day as my own? If they had
waited a few months� Ashley and Jan would just have been two children born 2000
miles apart from two different mothers. Instead they�re sleeping in the same
cradle� two twins of mine.
SALLY Well, if you'd talked to me. If Cam—your partner in
crime—had talked to me� all this might have come out before any of your
embryos were given to him.
HARRIET Sally�
I can�t undo the biggest mistake of my life. (Beat) I�m scared of losing you. Of what I�ve done. Of Priscilla.
Of what she might do. Poor Ashley will be brought up by a half-crazy,
poisonous, Bible-thumping witch, who sooner or later will hate him from the
bottom of her soul because he came out of my egg. She will punish him and it�s
all my fault.
SALLY The
problem isn�t just Ashley. If we get into arguments over who has what rights...
HARRIET
It�s a nightmare.
SALLY OK. This is what we�ll do. I�ll fly to Mississippi and break
the news to Priscilla and try to contain the situation.
HARRIET You
will? (Pause) I�ve made such a mess
of things� such a terrible mess. (Beat) Do
you still love me?
SALLY (A pause, she then grins) No, I hate you.
(Harriet embraces Sally.)
END OF SCENE 11
Scene 12. A few days later. LIGHTS on Harriet, Sally,
and Max in Sally�s and Harriet�s apartment. Sally, still in her travel outfit,
her suitcase by her side.
SALLY
They�ll be here soon. I told them to check into their hotel first.
HARRIET I
can�t stand the suspense. How did it go?
SALLY I
think it�s going to be all right.
But promise you�re going to keep a lid on it when they arrive. For now
we�ll have to let Ashley go back with Priscilla. But that�s not the end of it�
it�s just stage one. Priscilla�s still very fragile, so we have to be super
careful.
MAX How
did you manage to tell her about Harriet being the egg donor?
SALLY Very
gently�
HARRIET (After a beat) How did she take it?
SALLY She
cried� she screamed... she threw her tea cup at him...
MAX I hope
it was empty.
SALLY And
then they prayed.
MAX And it worked?
SALLY They
have this thing called Forgiveness Time. She invited me to join in, but I could
see that Forgiveness Time was already going to be quite a long session without
my getting involved, so I just waited outside.
HARRIET Poor
Cameron.
SALLY (Suddenly remembers Tucker.) They should be here any moment. Oh, I�m a terrible mother! I
haven�t even kissed Tucker hello yet.
HARRIET He�s
fine, he�s fine. Max read him �Heather has Two Mommies�� and now he�s taking a
nap
SALLY (Guffawing) �Heather has Two Mommies!� I
know I have a smart son, but this is for 3 or 4-year old kids.
HARRIET
It�s never too early to teach kids that having two mommies is okay. Call it gay
imprinting.
(Door
bell rings)
HARRIET My
God! That�ll be them. Max, would you?
(Max springs up from his chair and goes out. He
reenters with Cameron, who is carrying a suitcase, followed by Priscilla. Sally
starts to rise.)
CAMERON Well.
Here we are.
PRISCILLA We�ve
come to pick up Ashley.
(Slowly, Harriet gets up and hands Ashley
over to Priscilla, who at once begins nuzzling him.)
HARRIET (Sharp tone) You mean, that�s all? Not even a �thank you�?
PRISCILLA Oh�
I thanked Sally back home. I sure appreciated what y�all did, but I can handle
him just fine now� no more colic. I told Sally, we�ll stay one more day and
then (She again nuzzles the baby.)
Ashley flies home with his mommy and sleeps in his own crib, won�t you? You�ll
never know you were away from your mommy and your daddy.
HARRIET (Almost livid) What about me? What role
do you think I play in all this?
PRISCILLA You
have a nice baby. I�m sure Sally will take good care of him with Tucker. She
told me you�re going back to work.
(She is interrupted by a noise from Tucker in other
room.)
MAX I�ll
go.
SALLY Uncle
Max has been helping with Tucker while Ashley—
PRISCILLA I�m
sure he has.
(Max
exits to the bedroom.)
PRISCILLA Cam,
honey, will you open up the bag?
(He
does so.)
PRISCILLA Get
that little cap. He�ll need it back home in the sun. He might as well get his
first present now.
(Cameron produces a little baseball cap with JESUS
LOVES YOU on it. Priscilla puts it on Ashley�s head. He�s about to close the
case� )
PRISCILLA Well,
I guess we�ll be going now.
HARRIET Wait.
(Cameron stops what he�s doing),
HARRIET (To Priscilla) Could I have a moment with you? (To Sally) You mind?
SALLY Of course
not.
(She heads for the kitchen. Harriet waits
for Cameron to also leave. He doesn�t.)
HARRIET I
don�t want to involve you, Cam.
PRISCILLA Why
shouldn�t he be here?
HARRIET For
the same reason Sally shouldn�t be. I want to solve one problem at a time.
CAMERON (To Priscilla) It�s okay, honey.
(He
goes into the kitchen.)
HARRIET We
should get to know each other. Let�s give it a try� the two of us� alone.
PRISCILLA (Dubious) I don�t know about that.
HARRIET
Sally said things worked out pretty well between the two of you in Mississippi.
PRISCILLA She�s
Cam�s sister.
HARRIET
That also makes her your sister-in-law.
PRISCILLA (Reluctantly) I guess so.
HARRIET
But you never wanted to know Sally or me.
PRISCILLA
What you were doing was sinful.
HARRIET (Sarcastic) Past tense? Whatever it is,
we�re still doing it. (Beat) Before
we know it, Tucker will be 2. You didn�t even come to his first birthday. Of
course, Cameron did. (Beat) You have
no idea how important that was for Sally� to have Tucker�s uncle here. And
you�re his aunt.
PRISCILLA I
just couldn�t come.
HARRIET.
Weren�t you curious?
PRISCILLA I
didn�t want to know� (Beat). I was
afraid. (Beat). I�m still afraid.
HARRIET (Surprised) Of us?
PRISCILLA Your
lifestyle.
HARRIET
What do you know about (sarcastic)
our �lifestyle?� (Waves her hand around
the room). Does this look like a
house of ill repute?
PRISCILLA It
isn�t what I thought.
HARRIET I
see. And if it hadn�t been for Ashley�s colic and your own problems you still
wouldn�t have come?
PRISCILLA (Suddenly started to sob). I couldn�t
take his crying any longer. (Cries even
harder). I thought I was losing my mind. (Looks for handkerchief).
HARRIET (Gets a tissue from table and offers it to
Priscilla) Here�
PRISCILLA (Wipes her tears) Thanks.
HARRIET
Cam brought Ashley here because the baby needed my milk. It worked because Jan
and Ashley are twins.
PRISCILLA (Stubbornly) They�re half-brothers. They share a father. They
don�t at all look alike!
HARRIET (Furiously) Not alike? (She
rips off Ashley�s baseball cap and hurls it across room.) Just look at him
without that creepy JESUS LOVES YOU cap. Look! (She thrusts Jan practically in her face.) Spitting images! (Pause) I would like to see Ashley from
time to time.
PRISCILLA Out
of the question!
HARRIET (Hurt) Why?
PRISCILLA It
isn�t right!
HARRIET What
isn�t right?
PRISCILLA I
will not have my child exposed to a man-hating lesbian!
HARRIET Who
says I hate men? I don�t happen to welcome them into my bed. But otherwise? I
love my father� I adore my brother—
PRISCILLA
Your character then. My child will have a man to look up to.
HARRIET
All children need male role models� and male love� and male bonding within a
family.
PRISCILLA
But—
HARRIET
But what? Tucker and Jan have two mothers and two uncles. At least one of them
spends a lot of time with them.
PRISCILLA
Uncles are not the same as fathers.
HARRIET I
didn�t say they were. Some biological fathers shouldn�t even be uncles� let alone
fathers� and some uncles are almost as good as fathers. Just take Max in there�
with Tucker. At least in our family—
PRISCILLA No.
HARRIET Why
not?
PRISCILLA Because
it isn�t right!
HARRIET Says
who?
PRISCILLA It
isn�t natural!
HARRIET You
didn�t become a mother the natural way. Does that make it wrong? Is your family
now missing a mother?
PRISCILLA No.
No. No! You are wrong!
(Impasse.
Harriet tries again.)
HARRIET They�ll
always have a special bond, Jan and Ashley. They are twins. Are you going to
deny them that?
PRISCILLA
They�re not twins! Yours is much fatter.
HARRIET
You know damn well why that is so� with Ashley born prematurely and then his
colic. But they�re fraternal twins�
PRISCILLA (Stubbornly) You�re talking about enzymes—
HARRIET (Now truly irritated) Oh, for God�s sake!
What do you know about enzymes?
PRISCILLA I
know!
HARRIET You
know what, exactly? What? Give me some interesting facts about enzymes! Go on!
Surprise me!
PRISCILLA I
looked �em up on the Internet.
HARRIET (Explodes) The Internet? Jesus Christ!
PRISCILLA Don�t
take our Lord�s name in vain!
HARRIET (About to lose her temper completely)
Jesus! Half-brothers! And what exactly was my role in all this? To provide the
right enzymes to cure his colic� and nothing else?
PRISCILLA
It was your embryo� but my baby.
HARRIET (Sardonic) Why don�t you go back to the
Internet to see what you can find under �genes�?
PRISCILLA
I don�t need the Internet to tell me about my child. For nine months, Ashley
and I formed a relationship. You understand? A relationship that�ll last until
death! I talked to Ashley while he
was in me� when you didn�t even know what had happened to your embryo! Sure,
I�ll always be thankful to you for that gift� but I�m not just an incubator for
your embryo. Ashley is my child. He�s
been baptized. (Almost hysterical) Baptized! Do you hear that?
HARRIET (Now calmer) I�m not going to argue with
you about nurture vs. nature. Especially not when I nursed that kid for the
past month. Or do you think I�m just a milk cow?
(A long, seething pause. Cameron and
Sally, having heard the argument, come quietly out of the kitchen and look on.)
I hope you don�t think you
have any rights to my child?
PRISCILLA
To Jan? No� I don�t. But since
Cameron�s the father, you�ll need to check with him.
HARRIET (Explodes) I see. You think I� as the
egg donor� have no rights with respect to Ashley but your Cameron�s puny little
sperm will give him rights to my son?
SALLY Harriet,
please�
(Max has come out of the bedroom.)
MAX
There�s a 2-year old boy
in this bedroom who can hear every word you�re saying. A boy to whom I�ve just
read this book (waving the book)! You
remember� it doesn�t matter how many mommies or how many daddies your family has�
it doesn�t matter if your family has sisters or brothers or cousins or
grandmothers or grandfathers or uncles or aunts� each family is special. The
most important thing about a family is that all the people in it love each
other. Tucker doesn�t understand any of that yet, but he soon will. And
eventually, so will the other two boys. Aren�t you two ashamed of yourselves?
If you have something to resolve, why don�t you discuss it like sensible
adults?
HARRIET (After a beat) I�m sorry.
(A
long pause. Max notices something hanging out of the suitcase.)
MAX (To Priscilla) Is that a doll?
(Somewhat surprised, Priscilla nods. Max goes over to
the suitcase, lifts the lid to push the doll inside, looks inside the case.)
MAX That�s
quite a collection you�ve got here. How come you brought them?
PRISCILLA
They were mine as a child. I brought them for Ashley� for company.
HARRIET
Don�t you think Ashley needs male company rather than girlie dollies?
PRISCILLA Some
of them are boy dolls.
MAX (Kind tone) Which is your favorite?
(Priscilla, unsure of what else to do, goes over to
the case and brings out the battered old doll we saw her with before.)
MAX How
long have you had her?
PRISCILLA Since
I was four.
MAX She�s
lasted well. You must have given her a lot of love over the years. (He addresses the others.) Listen. I�ve
got an idea. Why don�t you people pull up some chairs? And put the children
into the crib� it may be their last time together for a long time.
(Baffled, but going along with it, Sally and
Harriet move toward chairs, but Priscilla and Cameron remain standing. Max
addresses them.)
MAX Come
on� why don�t you give it a try. What have you got to lose?
(Priscilla and Cameron start to sit down, but on
opposite sides of the table.)
MAX Not that
way. Two of you on one side� and two on the other. And Priscilla, mind if I
borrow some of these dolls? I think it might help. I promise to be gentle with
them.
PRISCILLA (Hesitatingly) I guess it�s okay.
MAX Thank
you.
(Priscilla and Cameron place themselves close
together on one narrow side of the rectangular table and Harriet and Sally on
the opposite side. Max sits down in the center of one of the unoccupied sides
of the table. He addresses the entire group as he looks around, from time to time
favoring one group over another.)
MAX You
realize, of course, that I don�t usually do this sort of thing. My business
isn�t to resolve problems. I�m not a judge� I�m usually an advocate for the
accused.
(He notices Priscilla whispering to Cameron. He addresses
Priscilla.)
MAX But
here we have two accusers who are also both defendants. Why don�t you let me
take both your sides. (To Priscilla)
I barely know you but my fellow sperm donor over there (He points to Cameron.) can vouch for me.
PRISCILLA (Hesitates) I don�t know�
CAMERON (Quickly interrupts) Prissy, let him try.
PRISCILLA I
guess so.
MAX Okay.
Here (pointing to Sally and Harriet.) we
have two highly intelligent professionals� too busy in their work to have much
time for random encounters� who wanted (he
draws quotation marks in the air with his fingers.) �to get married� after
they were lucky enough to have met each other.
PRISCILLA
Two women can�t get married!
MAX (Calmly) Priscilla! I drew quotation marks around those
words. The fact is� Harriet and Sally wanted (he again draws quotation marks in the air with his fingers.) �to
get married��. for better or for worse, until death do them part.
PRISCILLA
But�
MAX (He interrupts her, raising his hand.)
Both of them now have children� which is not that unusual�
PRISCILLA
It�s pretty unusual back home.
MAX I can
assure you, it�s anything but in San
Francisco. However, what is unusual is the familial relationships of the
mothers to the sperm donors. And especially the further relationship of one of
them (he points first to Cameron.) to
a woman� meaning you, Priscilla� who became (he
again draws quotation marks in the air with his fingers.) �a mother� by
decidedly unnatural means.
PRISCILLA
You can�t put quotation marks around that word! I am a mother!
MAX. Of
course you�re a mother. The quotation marks referred only to the means whereby
you became one. And now, let�s get to the heart of this mess!
SALLY
Mess? If you think that giving birth to two wonderful children�
HARRIET Three
children!
MAX
If I remember right,
�mess� means something like �untidy, disordered or unpleasant.� And doesn�t
that pretty much sum up where we are all right now? Eight persons� two brothers
to two sisters� two sperm donors to three sons� two uncles to three nephews�
and a couple with a marriage certificate and another couple without one.
Anyway, let�s call this side of the table (he
points to the side where Cameron and Priscilla sit.) �Mississippi.� And (now he points to the side where Sally and
Harriet sit.) this side of the table �San Francisco.�
(Max reaches into the suitcase and brings
out three dolls: Priscilla�s favorite and two smaller ones. He addresses Sally
while grouping the three dolls close together in the middle of the table.)
MAX Sally,
I need three sheets of paper and a pen�. and some Scotch tape.
(Sally brings them to him, whereupon he writes each
child�s name in big letters on the sheets while talking.)
MAX This
is Jan� this one can be Tucker� and this one, Ashley. And to avoid any confusion,
let me label them.
(He tapes the name pages to the front of each
respective doll.)
MAX What I
would now like each of you to do in succession is to move each child to the
adult couple where you think they belong. Understood? (They all nod.) Now let�s start with you, Priscilla.
(Priscilla quickly reaches for the Ashley doll and
moves it right next to her.)
PRISCILLA There you are.
MAX Don�t
you want to move the other two?
PRISCILLA
No� I have made my point.
MAX (To Cameron) Cam.
(Cameron leans over to move the Tucker doll all the
way across table next to Sally. Harriet quickly reaches over and moves
that doll so it is between her and Sally.)
MAX
Harriet� it�s not your turn.
(Max reaches over and moves Tucker back to the
position next to Sally where Cameron had placed it originally. Then he turns to
Cameron.)
MAX That�s
all?
CAMERON
Could I pass until the end?
MAX Sure. (To Sally) In that case, you�re next,
Sally.
(Sally quickly carries out the Tucker move that
Harriet had initiated and then moves Jan right next to him, thus placing both
Tucker and Jan right between Sally and Harriet.)
MAX No
other move, Sally?
SALLY (She hesitates, then moves Ashley away from
Priscilla slightly toward the center.) That�s it.
MAX (To Harriet) Harriet?
(Harriet reaches across table and moves the Ashley
doll all the way to the center. Priscilla immediately reaches over to put him
back next to her.)
MAX (To Priscilla) Priscilla� you can�t do that! It�s not your turn.
PRISCILLA
Ashley belongs to me!
MAX
Priscilla! These are dolls, not children. (Max
moves the Ashley doll back toward the middle, where Harriet had placed it.)
PRISCILLA
I don�t care. Ashley belongs here. (She
moves him back.)
(Harriet reaches all the way over the
table—practically lying on it—for the Ashley doll, but before she
can move it, Priscilla grabs it as well.)
HARRIET (To Cameron) Your wife seems to think
children are dolls.
CAMERON (To Harriet) That was unfair. (Gently
to Priscilla) Prissy� let go.
It�s just a game.
(Reluctantly, Priscilla relinquishes her grip,
whereupon Harriet moves the Ashley doll back to the center.)
MAX (To Harriet) Any other moves you wish to
make.
HARRIET
No.
MAX (To Cameron) You passed earlier. You have two more moves.
(Cameron hesitates for a moment, then reaches for the
Ashley doll and moves it still closer to �Mississippi,� but not as close as
Priscilla had placed it.)
MAX Okay.
In that case�
CAMERON
I�m not finished yet, Max.
(Cameron reaches way over the table for the Jan doll
and moves it from Harriet and Sally toward the middle, though still closer to
the �San Francisco� than the �Mississippi� position.)
CAMERON
That�s it.
HARRIET (Under her breath) Jesus!
MAX (After looking slowly around the table)
We�re getting close to the end. You can each make one more move� but only one! Let�s do it in the same order as
before. Priscilla, you first.
(Priscilla moves the Ashley doll back next to her;
Cameron gestures that he does not wish to do anything; Sally does likewise;
whereupon Harriet looks up angrily. She reaches over to Ashley—again
practically lying on the table—ready to move the doll back toward the
middle when Max interrupts�)
MAX
Harriet, remember, one move only.
(Harriet drops her hand, sits back in her chair and
then quickly grabs the Jan doll and moves it back next to her from the position
where Cameron had placed it last.)
(Long
pause)
HARRIET (To Priscilla) If this (she points to the Ashley doll.) had
reflected reality, who would�ve breast fed Ashley the last four weeks?
PRISCILLA
May the good Lord forgive you for such cruel words.
HARRIET
You think it�s cruel asking why you won�t move Ashley partly to our side?
PRISCILLA Yes!
(Harriet suddenly makes a play for the
Ashley doll. In reaction, Priscilla grabs at it. In the ensuing tug of war, the
doll breaks in half.)
PRISCILLA You�re
wicked! Look what you�ve done! May
the good Lord forgive you for your wickedness.
(Priscilla,
upset that her favorite doll has broken in two, holds the pieces in her hands.)
CAMERON (To Max) Some game!
PRISCILLA
A true Christian would now ask for forgiveness.
HARRIET
Meaning that I should apologize for the broken doll?
PRISCILLA.
Of course. You broke it.
HARRIET
Alright� I apologize. And now, will you as a true Christian apologize for wanting
to cut off all future contact with a biological child of mine?
PRISCILLA
Ashley belongs to me! You�re a
doctor� and you handled the embryo as a doctor. I converted it into a baby. I�m
the mother.
MAX
Everyone, listen. Just listen, before this entire situation gets out of hand. Harriet was wrong thinking she could just let Cam use
an embryo however he�d see fit, and now she knows it.
HARRIET Of
course I know it now. But why belabor the point? I�ve already told that to you� and to Sally� and I will
repeat it now in front of Cam and Priscilla. (Loud and slow). I made a
mistake� a mistake that can�t be undone.
MAX (To Priscilla) When she put Ashley to her breast� she
discovered a mystery she was not prepared for. You can�t blame her for feeling Ashley
belongs to her, too. Why shouldn�t she be entitled to visitation rights with
Ashley? You imply that Cameron has them with respect to Jan. (To Cameron) When Harriet gave birth to Jan, how did you feel? A
little envious, perhaps?
CAMERON I
asked the Lord to free me of my envy.
SALLY Who
were you envious of?
CAMERON Of
Max. Because sperm donors aren�t just sperm donors and nothing else. But Max
had the advantage of being close to you two and Tucker.
MAX If
that�s how you feel, then you and Priscilla should move to San Francisco.
PRISCILLA
What? (Beat). Let us pray. Give us the strength not to compromise
as we bring up Ashley within the Christian faith, even though he was born by
artificial�
CAMERON (Interrupts) Alternative�
PRISCILLA
I mean alternative means. And since there are still four embryos�
CAMERON (Interrupts) Five �
PRISCILLA
Are you sure?
CAMERON
Sure.
PRISCILLA
Even better! And since it would be sinful to destroy them and the Lord has taught us to go forth and
multiply... surely it is right that we create further life through such
alternative means� So bless us, Oh Lord, with siblings to Ashley, which we
shall bring up as thy faithful servants in a true Christian household. Amen.
HARRIET Wait
a moment! Those are my eggs!
SALLY You�ve got to ask her.
PRISCILLA
No, I don�t. She gave
them to my husband.
HARRIET I didn�t �give� them to him� I was
generous enough to allow him access to some. (To Cameron) Isn�t that
right, Cam?
CAMERON I guess so.
PRISCILLA (To
Harriet) What were you aiming to
do with the rest?
HARRIET (Addresses
Cameron) Hadn�t I told you that I might need them if something happened
with my pregnancy?
CAMERON Yeah.
PRISCILLA But your baby is okay. What use could you
now have for them?
HARRIET What gives you the right to even ask that
question? (Beat). Suppose I wanted another child?
MAX Wow!
SALLY Harry! Are you serious?
HARRIET You and I can discuss this some other
time. After all, embryos can be stored for years.
PRISCILLA Get the suitcase, honey.
SALLY
You�re not going now?
PRISCILLA
(Firmly) Cam, get the
case. (Beat). Cam! The suitcase,
please.
(Priscilla
gets up and takes Ashley. She turns to Cameron.)
CAMERON
Honey, I don�t think we
should leave just yet.
PRISCILLA
(Bitter) Fine. You stay. But I�m taking my child to Mississippi.
MAX
Priscilla, I don�t think
you should leave.
(Priscilla
goes toward the door.)
CAMERON
Prissy! You said �a true Christian household.� But the Bible says, �By wisdom a
house is built, and through understanding it is established.� We�ve all got to
show some understanding�
PRISCILLA (Dismissive) That�s the Old Testament!
HARRIET In
that case, how about listening to
Jesus!
(Priscilla pauses.)
�In my Father's house are
many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you.�
CAMERON (Quickly) John 14, verse 2.
PRISCILLA
(Surprised to Harriet) You� quoting
from the Scriptures?
HARRIET
And why not? Because I don�t flaunt my knowledge openly? Or are these words
less valid coming from me?
(Priscilla
heads for the door.)
SALLY:
Wait, Priscilla! "Give, and it shall be given to you. For whatever measure
you deal out to others, it will be dealt to you in return." That�s what
Cam and I were taught at home.
(Priscilla opens the door.)
HARRIET (Desperately) You can�t go! Those are the
words of your Savior!
MAX (Firmly) Harriet.
Leave it.
(Harriet looks at Max in surprise. Priscilla exits
with Ashley. Cam looks at the others, and, with a helpless shrug, goes after
her.)
HARRIET What
God can allow this to happen?
(She throws herself onto the sofa, sobbing.
Sally goes to comfort her.)
MAX Umbrella
Christianity might work with Cam, but not with people like Priscilla.
HARRIET If
citing the Bible doesn�t convince her, what will?
MAX Just
be patient.
(Harriet looks up Max)
HARRIET (Angrily) You all let her win.
MAX It�s
not about winning. It�s about
patience.
(A long pause)
(They all stop to listen. It�s a baby�s cry,
quite faint.)
SALLY It must be Tucker. I�ll—
HARRIET (The
realization dawning on her) That�s
not Tucker.
(A moment. The baby�s cries become more distinct.
Max, wry as ever, looks at his watch.)
MAX I�d say it�s feeding time.
(The door slowly opens again. Priscilla and
Ashley—by now screaming-- are in the doorway, Cameron standing behind.)
CAMERON Pris changed her mind.
Strobe lights go on which make the remainder look
like dream-like, slow motion
(Cameron remains at the door while Priscilla enters
the room and stands in front of Harriet. She holds out the screaming Ashley.
Without a word, Harriet takes the baby from Priscilla. Then she sits down on
the sofa, and begins unbuttoning her blouse. Almost as a deliberate act of
teasing, she turns her body away from Priscilla, places Ashley on a cushion on
her knee and begins breastfeeding him whereupon the screaming stops almost immediately.
(Cameron steps into the room and closes the front
door behind him delicately. Priscilla quietly sobbing takes a seat. Cameron
sits beside her and tries to console her. Sally and Max walk toward the sofa AS
THE STROBE LIGHTS GO OFF, followed by a long silence as Harriet quietly feeds
Ashley.
MAX The Lord hath taken away and now the
Lord giveth. Blessed be the name of the Lord.
PRISCILLA
(Looks up shocked). That�s not what
it says in the King James Bible! It�s the reverse!
MAX I know.
This is the Gospel according to Mendel..
PRISCILLA:
Mendel?
MAX:
Gregor.
HARRIET Praise
the Lord� and Gregor Mendel for giving us genes.
(Lights fade.)
END OF PLAY